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I am having one of those days like those damn bell curves that Prof C is so fond of drawing on the board. I didn't get up on time, but I did my outfit put together in record time. The bus was late, but the train came early and I had plenty of time before class to read. I felt sick during most of Prof C's class which wasn't helped by the RCV fiasco that occurred then too. Of course, we did a lot of laughing during class as well. I had a bit of fun during my break, talking to T about knitting and then I had a panic attack about the RCV project. Sigh. My afternoon classes were interesting, especially since Dr E came in costume (see my MoBlog for that). Of course, my absences last week because of my migraine and Mayor Newsom's speech left me quite behind. Sigh. Yeah, it's been that kind of day. Full of great ups and large downs. I know there are people who had a worse day today than me, but at this point, I can only deal with me. Jenn posted at 11:47 PM | |
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Lots accomplished today. Am about half done with a scarf I started last night. I was tired of always working on the same project and never being finished. So, this weekend, I will finish a scarf (for myself) and return to my neverending project. I came up with a little Halloween costume for Monday, thus ending my decade-long moratorium on Halloween celebrations. It's really just an excuse to wear different clothes to school ;) I paid all my bills (ugh!) and sent out some long overdue birthday cards (yay!). I have also been catching on season 1 of Desperate Housewives that R lent me weeks ago, but I haven't had a chance to watch. Tomorrow is dedicated to laundry and homework - it's Prof C weekend with all the stuff I have to do for his class. Jenn posted at 1:47 AM | |
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Jennifer Weiner has returned from book tour and she has posted her favorite anecdote on her blog. Besides meeting me for the second time - but then, she wouldn't want to make the rest of her fans feel bad that they aren't as cool as me. Or something. Jenn posted at 10:24 PM | |
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simple as a phone call just to make it known that you're gonna be a little late pure as a kiss on the cheek and a word that everything will be okay call in the morning from my little sister singing to me happy birthday when you quest for fortune and fame don't forget about the simple things Little things (its the little things) and the joy they bring Little things (its the little things) and the joy they bring give some good food, give me some cute shoes give me some peace of mind give me some sunshine, give me some blue skies "Little Things" by India.Arie I woke up with a headache that was threatening to become a migraine. I almost threw up as I took my meds. I missed the early bus, ensuring that I would be late to class and have to sit on the floor. I was sweaty, despite the cold air temperature and every moment I remained upright, I felt more and more nauseous. There was a woman at the bus stop when I arrived and I was in no mood to talk to anyone. I hadn't put my headphones on before I left the house and I was too unstable to try to put them at this point. I ended up engaged in a pleasant conversation with another non-native San Franciscan for ten minutes before the bus came. The bus driver was in a fabulous mood, requiring a smile before boarding and cheerily greeting each of his passengers. I put my headphones after I sat down, but I could still hear some of the conversation between the woman and the bus driver. She was proud to be 70 years old and he liked bananas, which he passed out to the passengers in the front. My headache faded as the bus approached the station and I couldn't help but smile. I was still going to be late to class, but as I sat on the bench on the MUNI platform, my heart was light. I had been surrounded by people enjoying life, even its monotony. I didn't have knots in my stomach or a scowl on my face from another awful experience on MUNI. For once, life was good. Jenn posted at 12:05 AM | |
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Out of the confusion The static and the noise You got my attention You make me wanna Live, like it's the last moon rising Scream, just like no one's there Lose all of my defenses Hold you, touch you, love you Like it's the very last moment in time All the little ways you move me All the places you expose The illusion I held onto You've got me letting go I just wanna stay here Soaking up the rain Falling all around me Wash the world away "Very Last Moment in Time" by Lindsay Lohan Jenn posted at 1:23 AM | |
The little-green-Saturn-that-could joined our family on August 3, 1996. We had just come home from Olympic Tour to find the message that it had arrived. For reasons passing understanding (I guess because I couldn't really drive it yet), I didn't go with my parents, who got the full '90s treatment of the Saturn dealership, complete with clapping. I attended Catie Pittaway's birthday party and decompressed from 10 days of drama, fun and drama.
In the time that has passed since that fateful Saturday, this beautiful car and I have been inseperable. It has been in 3 accidents and had many replacement parts. The visor on the driver side rattles and the cup holders are sticky from too many sodas. The windshield wipers don't always work right and the subwoofer in the driver's door is not working the way that I'd like. But I love this car. It's comfortable and it feels like home. No matter where I've moved or traveled, this car has been a constant. I drove to Fort Worth with my mom on my first attempt to leave the nest and drove it back with my dad, almost all night, trying to get home just as fast as I could a week later. We have driven to church, to work, to class and back again, tracing familiar routes and carving out new ones. Mom and I paved a new trail when I drove from northern Virginia to southern California in a week, ready to start a new life. I've added stickers and changed license plates (and even became the official owner!), but this reliable mode of transportation is still the same; still my green baby. Even when I moved to a town with "great" public transit, I couldn't bear to part with GreenLightning. Most recently, I pushed the car to its limits as I criss-crossed the country twice this summer. It's more than just a car to me. It's like a great pair of jeans that just feels good when you slip it on. Sure, it's not perfect - but who is? I love my little green Saturn - the only car I've ever owned. quote from The West Wing episode "In Excelsis Deo," written by Aaron Sorkin  |
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Sounds like a fun time, huh? Jenn posted at 6:57 PM | |
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and afternoon...and evening. Basically it's been a yucky, foggy, crappy day weather-wise (and not much better otherwise). I had to take Kim to the airport this morning so she could go back to LA. Sniff! We had such a blast this weekend, but our time together was way too short. We ate our way around SF and Sonoma, so new people who come to visit, I've got new restaurants to take you! Yay! (That's a hint to all of you who haven't visited me yet!) It was a good news/bad news sort of day: Good news: I only missed .5 on Prof C's quiz, so my average in his class is a 97.5. Bad news: I got my SF midterm back and because I totally screwed up one of the essay questions, I got a C+. Good news: We're doing the fun redistricting/coloring project in Prof C's class again on Wednesday. Bad news: Those of us who have done it before are going to be given a new, more complex sheet to work with. Why we are being punished for taking his class last semester, I have no idea. But I guess it's time to break out the colored pencils and caculator. Good news: I finally got the Prayer Digest out on time! Bad news: It's been 3 weeks since I'd done it last! Okay, well, it's time for dinner, so I must eat. Much work to do and catch up reading as well. Lots of love! Jenn posted at 10:51 PM | |
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I'm a saver. Both my parents are savers. My grandparents are savers. It seems only natural (and genetic!) that I be a saver too. However, I'm starting to realize that perhaps being such a packrat is not necessarily a good thing. And not just the inevitable moving delimma, but in life in general. There's a box of stuff in my closet that I still haven't unpacked and as I was going through it, I realized that I just keep stuff for way too long. I still have the *original* green ribbon tucked away in a wallet that I probably haven't used since high school, but there it resides in a box of memories long since dismissed. I have purchased new ribbon and have used many other variations since, but the original is still tied in my wallet, haunting me. I have the scrap of paper that my big boss wrote his home address on this summer to invite me to a barbecue to which I didn't end up going. Even though I have the address written in my address book, I still hold onto the scrap of paper. I have a top spiral notebook that somehow managed to find its way into my first apartment in LA from Kilborn. It has been used and abused through four apartments and three cities. I rarely use it for anything and it's too bent up to be practical, but I can't bring myself to throw it away. The list goes on, but it's made me curious. Why do I feel the need to hang on to the stuff for so long? Cards, letters, pictures - sure, those get saved forever. But scraps of paper and cloth? Those could easily be thrown away without a second though - but I don't. Even now, I'm not going to get up and throw those things away. Am I really that afraid that I wouldn't remember those experiences without these tangible reminders to say "yes, that did happen to you?" I don't know, but I'm anxious to find out. Jenn posted at 1:29 AM | |
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It's been a good 24 hours, but I've still got a lot to do. I was up way too early to study for Prof C's quiz. I wish I had taken my own advice and not stressed, but I'm sure I did well. I've gotten pretty good at predicting what Prof C's going to ask, though there's always a bit of a twist. Perhaps by the time I graduate, I'll have it totally figured out - and it won't matter any more! I've got to get back to studying for my Latin America midterm. It's multiple choice, but I actually find that harder anymore - there's no room to bs if you don't know. Sigh. I can't wait until tomorrow afternoon when I can nap. On the upside, my computer is finally back to normal, no thanks to the Geek Squad at the Springfield Best Buy. It's so nice to be able to use it correctly and not have to deal with the slowness. Jenn posted at 12:12 AM | |
I've got some reading to do for Prof C's class and then I'm going to bed. It's been such a long week already and it's only Tuesday. I am so looking forward to Kim's visit this weekend because I just need to get out of the city and cut loose for a while! Jenn posted at 1:39 AM | |
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The day did not start off well. I didn't wake up until 8:40. I had wanted to get to school early to study with D and K, but that was not meant to be. Thankfully, I had ironed my shirt the night before, but it still took me 30 minutes to shower, dress, dry my hair and get out the door. Not having time to check the weather, I grabbed my black coat and ran out the door. Today was one of those rare days when even those of us at the top of the hill had beautiful weather, so I was immediately overdressed. Walking up to the bus stop, I knew that I had either just missed the bus or it would be coming soon. In the off peak hours, the buses only come every 30 minutes and if I miss the "early" bus, I'll be late to class. As today was the discussion day for the readings for the quiz next time in Prof C's class, I couldn't afford to be late. After waiting for 10 minutes, I surmised that I had indeed missed the bus and was preparing to drive to school, praying that there would still be an open parking space. As I got down to the driveway, I noticed the bus was coming up the hill. Running as well as I could in my stacked heel boots, I made it to the bus stop at the same time as the bus, panting and sweaty. I managed to make the right train and even managed to finish the book I needed to finish for Prof C's class (actually I was supposed to have finished it last week, but whatever). Those were to be my small victories for the day as I knew that I had totally blown the quiz that Prof C was handing back today. In fact, I didn't even want it back. I just wanted to put it behind me and start preparing to make up for it on Wednesday's quiz. After covering a few business things from last time, he set out handing back the quiz. He mentioned that someone had gotten a perfect score, so there would be no curve. My heart sank just a little bit more. People behind me were frowning and groaning as they looked at their scores and the marks on their papers. Dr E, my Ren professor, says that I always have such an apprehensive look on my face when he hands stuff back, that I actually physically recoil before reaching out to get my paper. I never noticed that before, but today, I know I definitely did. I pride myself on my performance in Prof C's class, as if his opinion of me will fluctuate with my quiz score. Besides, having gotten a perfect score on the previous quiz, I knew there was nowhere to go but down. And I was right - though not by much. Through some miracle, I only missed one point. Even the question that everyone got wrong, I only got half wrong. I sat up straight and felt my mouth hang open. I turned with shock to G and Prof C, asking incredulously, how it was possible. G quickly told me not to complain and I turned around again, grinning absurdly. R and I both mentioned how our days had just gotten a whole lot better. The moment I had been dreading all weekend had turned out to be the shining point of my day. It's amazing how one tiny thing can change your whole perspective. I was able to enjoy class, debating the discussion questions and joking with my friends. I felt free and happy. Yeah, it's just a quiz (though with Prof C, every quiz feels like a midterm - and I mean that in the most loving way possible), but it felt like more. This one little thing was going to ruin my whole week and instead it made my day. It doesn't get much better than that. Jenn posted at 7:41 PM | |
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I finally got all of my CDs uploaded into iTunes and I have been enjoying Chantal Kreviazuk's "What If It All Means Something" album. It takes me back to the summer of 2003, where every song had a meaning for me. The boys visited for four fabulous days that will never be equaled. I worked at the prop house, wearing short skirts and flirting with the boys in the warehouse. I graduated from SMC. KB and I were...well, something new and yet all the same as usual. Only two years ago and yet it feels like a lifetime. It feels like scenes from someone else's life. Did that really happen to me? And of course, it did. I can go back through my journals and relive the moments. Chris W said that I was beautiful. I had a quasi-date with the cute, sweet guy from returns, who understood me in way that no one else did. I walked across the rickety stage in near darkness with a grin that made my face hurt despite my migraine to collect my diploma cover. I love that music has that ability to transport me back to another time, another place. I can visualize myself driving home from work on the 10, with the windows down, singing along at the top of my voice, coming home to KB and the puppies. I was so happy, even when I wasn't. I was free and uninhibited. I lived. I loved. And I did both without reserve or thought. I never knew I could be like that. Now I do it every day. Who knew? Jenn posted at 1:59 AM | |
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In honor of D (love ya babe!), I was doing some digging through my old, old GeoCities webpage and found some quotes about friendship and other things that I want to perserve for posterity. Enjoy! "Real friends are those who, when you've made a fool of yourself, don't make you feel like you've done a permanent job." -Unknown "A friend is someone you can be alone with and have nothing to do and not be able to think of anything to say and be comfortable in the silence." -Sheryl Condie "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends." -Richard Bach "It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "No man can be happy without a friend, nor be sure of his friend till he is unhappy." -Thomas Fuller "If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a month, get married. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help someone else." -Chinese proverb "You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime." -Dale Carnegie "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down." -Oprah Winfrey "Without good friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods." -Aristotle "Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours." -Ludwig Van Beethoven "Friendship is one of the most tangible things in a world which offers fewer and fewer supports." -Kenneth Branagh I've been moving down memory lane of my online life and it's quite a sight to behold. It's funny how things that seemed so important at the time have become footnotes on real experiences. Some things still make me smile; some make me wistful. I miss people that I hadn't thought of in a long time and wonder if they ever think of me. I love to trace the journey that has taken me here. I remember being so upset that I didn't get into UCLA. I remember being so pissed off that KB didn't invite me to a barbecue. But without those things, I wouldn't have found State. And without State and the people I've met here, I wouldn't be as happy as I am now. I wouldn't know what it's like to love college, to learn new things, to bond with people over policy. I wouldn't have my new direction in career. I would have missed so much. And perhaps, similar enriching experiences were waiting for me at UCLA - but I doubt it. Jenn posted at 12:36 AM | |
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How did it get to be the middle of October? Didn't this month just start? Life is passing by so quickly these days it's hard to catch my breath. I thought that once the wedding was over, I was would be able to breathe again, but I fell right into midterms with no end in sight. I suppose it's better to be busy than to be bored, but for once, I'd like to sit in front of the television and veg without feeling guilty about the millions of things I should be doing. Yesterday was HT's birthday. Apologies, sweets, for not posting the standard birthday message. Time just got away from me. I hope you are well and happy as you deserve to be. Study group is coming over tomorrow, so I am madly cleaning. If I had a weekly study group, my apartment might not look like crap all the time. And Kim called yesterday to say that she has booked her ticket, so she's going to visit me next weekend! Whoohoo! We are going to eat our way around the Bay Area (at least SF and Sonoma) - I can't wait! Cal lost and Tech had a bye, so I'm not feeling very optimistic about the Chiefs/Redskins game tomorrow. I'm sure KB and I will be calling each other all afternoon (well, morning for me) and talking smack no matter what. Gotta love football season! Jenn posted at 9:24 PM | |
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Even though I was late to school this morning, K and I managed to get a fair bit of studying done before I went to Prof C's class and she studied for her other midterm. Of course, by the time I got to the midterm this afternoon, I had totally forgotten a couple of the names I needed, so I'm going to lose points for that. However, I got a 44/50 on the in-class portion of my Ren midterm and in the last couple of days I have gotten very positive comments on my work that I have gotten back. My Ren professor called my source evaluation "elegant and expressive; excellent" and my women's history professor said that I made some "really astute observations" and connections regarding a primary source reading. Considering how badly I know I did on Prof C's quiz on Monday, I feel good that I'm not totally screwing up everything. I took a nap this afternoon and I'm still tired. For the first time, I was actually literally falling asleep in my Ren class. I made up for it by raising my hand and asking a question. Doesn't seem like much, but trust me, it is. Jenn posted at 2:08 AM | |
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The Rules: Remove the blog at #1 from the following list and bump every one up one place. Add your blogs name in the #5 spot. Link to each of the other blogs for the desired cross-pollination effect.Select 4 new friends to add to the pollen count. No one is obligated to participate and anyone can play if they want to. This is not like 'Tag, you're it', or some kind of chain letter. Just do it if it seems like fun. The questions and answers are supposed to be part of the fun, but only if it feels comfortable. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was a freshman in high school. I had missed the fall retreat and was feeling left out of just about everything. That's all I can remember. What were you doing 5 years ago? I was studying at Mason and working at NCF. I was probably skipping a fair amount of class. I was a communications major and deathly afraid of my interpersonal communication class. I was sinking further into my depression without even realizing it. I had discovered FF and XPFC over the summer, the only two things that made me feel alive at that point. Seems like a lifetime ago. What were you doing 1 year ago? Last year this month, I was struggling without my laptop, which had died. I had just come back from Chris and Tyne's wedding and the most romantic, amazing night of my life. I was freaking out over Prof C's midterm (which it turned out to be baseless since I got an A) and generally working through my midterms and school. What were you doing yesterday? I studied for my polisci quiz. Had class, including a conversation with R about Sports Night and one with Prof C about European game shows. Studied for my Ren midterm. Took it. Went to class. Hung out in the PSSA room with K and D. Talked to KB on the phone. Studied all night. In bed before midnight for the first time all semester (D will be proud!). Five snacks you enjoy:
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I had two tests today - a quiz for Prof C that might as well be a midterm and the make up midterm for Dr E that I missed to be at Kristin's wedding. Both were harder than I expected for different reasons and I don't feel good about either one. "Don't judge me by this quiz, okay?" I joked with Prof C afterwards. I've got another midterm this week that K and I are going to study for on Wednesday morning. I'm not as worried about it because I've had the prof before, but given how today went, I'm definitely going to prepare more than I would otherwise. I just watched the Angels beat the evil Yankees to win the ALDS - can't beat that! I'll always be a closet Angels fan, no matter what Prof C says! After a disappointing sports weekend - the Hokies won, but Cal and the Redskins lost - it's nice to have a uplifting Monday night. Back to my book... Jenn posted at 11:47 PM | |
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I am home and it feels wonderful, even though I am sick. I am taking a small break from studying for my big tests tomorrow. Hopefully, I will be done soon as my body doesn't know what time it is, but knows that it is tired. I had a blast at Kristin and Rich's wedding! I loved being a bridesmaid and all that entails. Kristin was beautiful - has she even not been gorgeous? - and it was great to see so many great friends at the reception. I even got to meet baby Matthew M ;) I caught a cold on the plane on the way to the east coast and I feel appropriately miserable, however. Luckily this is a very light week for me - NOT! I am so not amused by my body right now... Jenn posted at 1:04 AM | |
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I'm having a fabulous day despite two hours of sleep and the crazy stress that has taken over my life. I got up eearrly this morning for the first of two study groups for Prof C's quiz on Monday. You wouldn't think that a quiz would cause this much stress - but it does. I brought pastries and we had a good time, while discussing all the readings from the packet. We're saving the book for Monday's cram-a-thon. K and I got the giggles in Prof C's class due to our "pool" but we didn't get in too much trouble - Prof C just wanted to be let in on the joke ;) Classes went well, though I was about crash during my last class. I kept crossing and re-crossing my legs just to keep myself awake. I've given up all hope of being truly productive on the flight tonight. I'm only bringing my PS packet, my craft and my laptop in my backpack. Everything else will have to wait until I hit the ground (less than 12 hours from now) in DC. Jenn posted at 7:31 PM | |
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I'm a big late, but Happy Big, Scary Birthday, Katie!! Jenn posted at 11:03 PM | |
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Mondays are such good days. I mean, I'm totally stressed about all the work I have to do before I step on that plane on Wednesday night, but having a good day at school tempers that for a bit. The best thing is that while I'm in class, I can just concentrate on that specific subject matter and forget all my lists and stress. Today was no exception. The day didn't start out well when I woke up at 8:45 - only giving me 25 minutes before I had to be out the door. I made the bus with time to spare, so I guess I can get ready in less than an hour - not cute, but ready. Fun times with Prof C in my polisci class. I still wish our class hadn't "democratically" decided to move the quiz to Monday, but hopefully I'll still do alright. Dr. E handed out the study guide for the midterm - which has a take home essay. The only problem is we don't get the essay question until Wednesday. I guess I'm going to have to steal some time during the craziness to write. Sigh. Prof B reviewed the format of his midterm for next week and I think that K and I are going to have to schedule some study time. His midterms are always so intimidating because it covers "everything." After classes, I made a quick trip to the library and came home before running out for more errands. I have a plane ticket home for Thanksgiving, so you'll get to see me again in November too - hopefully, things will have calmed down for me academically - not likely though. I got a garment bag for my dresses and got some new books at Barnes & Noble. I still need to go to the grocery store, but I just feel tired. Jenn posted at 1:29 AM | |
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Cause I know I'm not the same But I wanna feel that way I know some things change But I wanna steal the page From that summer day in LA I wanna feel the way I did with you that day in LA "Hey Susan" by Peter Salett I had a craving for Jack In The Box yesterday and after much searching during my trip to Pleasanton, I was able to satisfy my need for a sourdough Jack sandwich. I hadn't been to a Jack in the Box in such a long time - probably since I left LA (they just aren't that prevelant around here). Staring at the menu, I was reminded of KB - he always ordered a burger, two tacos and an eggroll just because he could. He loved that you could order three different kinds of food at one fast food restaurant. There was a JitB down the street from the hotel he worked at when we first moved to LA. I'd meet him at the hotel and we'd run down there in my car for his dinner break. It wasn't sexy, but we got to spend half an hour together when we otherwise wouldn't. That was such a strange, fun, crazy, enlightening summer. There are times when I can't believe it all happened - and times when I wished it hadn't. But in the end, it was exactly what I needed at that point in my life - and so was he. Jenn posted at 2:54 AM | |
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I've sorta adopted Cal as my college team out here since my school doesn't have football team (budget cuts!). It was funny to watch them cut to shots of San Francisco as the bumpers to/from commercial since Berkeley has no discernable landmarks - I guess. Okay, back to errands and reading/studying/paper writing! Jenn posted at 6:54 PM | |
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I had a minor (okay major!) freak out this morning when I couldn't find my keys. I had gotten ready ahead of schedule and was already to catch the correct bus when I realized that my keys weren't in the place that I always put them. After two calls to my mom and one to the leasing office, I disovered them in my yoga mat under my bed. Sigh. I ended up driving to school, which worked out way better anyway. After class, I talked to Dr E about the midterm I have to take early and it turns out that I get to take it after I come back from the wedding. Score! So I went from two tests on the day I leave to zero - I like it! I spent the rest of the day shopping for the various things I need before I head home on Wednesday. By this time next week, Kristin will be married and we'll all partied out - or on our way ;) Craziness! I hope the girls are having a fab time in Atlantic City without me - have a drink and a lap dance for me ;) Jenn posted at 2:57 AM | |