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I got a new life baby, It takes some getting used to but No sign of any rain My skies are clear today I keep bracing for that hit But there's no sign of it "No Sign of It" by Natalie Grant Jenn posted at 7:43 PM | |
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The #1 song when I was born: "Lady" by Kenny Rogers [US] / "The Tide Is High" by Blondie [UK] (one of my fav songs, actually!) My Life Theme Song (#1 on my 18th birthday): "One Week" by Barenaked Ladies [US] / "Believe" by Cher [UK] (In some twisted way, that actually makes sense!) What's yours? Jenn posted at 2:10 PM | |
  I was reading my latest Shape magazine and they had book suggestions for people in certain age groups. These were the two suggested for my little age bracket. Anyone read them? Together they are less than $20 on Amazon, but I'm trying to curb my impulse shopping habit ;) Jenn posted at 8:15 PM | |
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Yesterday was my 4 year anniversary of creating my first online diary at Livejournal. My writing, my blog and my life have changed quite dramatically in that time. I was going to do a whole big post about it, but then I figured, my archives speak for themselves. Jenn posted at 4:14 AM | |
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I got guilted into going to a forum with D7 BoS member Sean Elsbernd during my break today. I don't live in his district and I didn't really have any axes to grind, but it was actually really interesting. I learned a lot about the city I live in (like if you get your car stolen and the police find it and tow it, you have to pay the $250 towing fee if you aren't an SF resident) and really enjoyed the discourse. Of the people there, half of us were in Prof C's class - only two of the students weren't his. So I earned my brownie points for the day and I actually learned something - go figure! Jenn posted at 7:56 PM | |
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A Few Tips to Cope With Life's Annoyances My favorite idea: Jenn posted at 1:08 AM | |
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Some days I feel like I live an ordinary life, not much excitement. But there are little things that happen in this city that I've never experience anywhere else. I went to Blockbuster today to pick up a DVD and I had to open an account since my one from LA had expired. The manager was a 60+ year old man with long, jet black hair who knew the name of every customer and called me "doll" when I left the store. It felt like a Maybury with a hippie freak twist. Classic SF! Jenn posted at 9:36 PM | |
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Monday Positives: |
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I got another rejection letter from an internship agency. Not to worry, I had figured out I wasn't going to get this one soon after I turned in the application and I'm not even sure I told my advisor about it. But nice to know that two months after I applied, they sent me a letter rejecting me. Otherwise, it was a typical Monday. We started discussing Russia in Comp Politics, which made me think of Katie. I was proud to find out that I knew the Soviet line of succession (without dates) before she wrote it up on the board. Who knew? Cal Politics was another wheelin' and dealin' free for all as we continued voting on our reforms for the California governmental institutions. Turns out, even with all of our reforms, California still wouldn't be governable - so perhaps it's not the insitutions but the unique factors of the state. Doesn't matter though since our package would never, ever pass. We finished up the 13th century in Middle Ages with a discussion of the convivencia in Spain, taking it all the way to the Spanish Inquisition in the 15th century. We were warned that for the next week, it gets "gross" as we'll be discussing first the Famine and the Black Death. I know from last semester's lecture on the BD that he gets pretty detailed in describing the symptoms - definitely don't want to eat beforehand. And did you know that you've got a funny bone in your knee as well as your elbow? I didn't till I just hit it on the side of my desk as I was typing. Yeah, that freakin' hurts! Jenn posted at 6:18 PM | |
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You're awesome and I love you! I hope you have a wonderful day! Jenn posted at 3:22 AM | |
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I've seen this all over the place, but most recently at shanni.org: Think of 3 pictures you'd like to see. Things around my apartment, or whatever... something I can take a picture of easily. Once I have enough requests, I'll start posting them. If I can't or won't take a picture of something you've requested, I'll let you know. Jenn posted at 9:15 PM | |
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You think I only think about you When we’re both in the same room You think I’m only here to witness The remains of love exhumed You think we’re here to play A game of who loves more than whom And if you call, I will answer And if you fall, I’ll pick you up And if you court this disaster I’ll point you home "Call and Answer" by Barenaked Ladies Jenn posted at 8:56 PM | |
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Get onboard a fast train Travel on a jet plane, far away and breakaway Out of the darkness and into the sun But I won't forget all the ones that I love I'll make a wish, take a chance Make a change and breakaway "Breakaway" by Kelly Clarkson Jenn posted at 2:27 AM | |
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I write mostly on hotel paper knowing that my thoughts will never leave this room I'd be out of line telling you, "leave her" so I lie lonely surrounded by you Forgive me if I admit that I'd love to love you We both realized it way too late And I wanted to be giving you everything that she's not giving "Hotel Paper" by Michelle Branch Jenn posted at 12:20 AM | |
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From Sweet Surprise who got it from Divine Reality:
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Jenn posted at 2:31 AM | |
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So for the second time in about a week, my Safeway card hasn't worked. Actually, inputting my phone number to bring up my account hasn't worked. On Tuesday, I went to the store to buy toilet paper and toothpaste, used my phone number and it worked fine. Today, the computer is telling the cashier that the number is invalid. There's a phone number to call, blah, blah, blah. But the thing that kills me is that they always ask if there's another phone number. I say no since I only have this one phone number. Then they ask if I'm sure - as if there's some mystical phone number that I've forgotten all this time, but now that they brought it up, ah, yes, I have another phone number. I know I'm hormonal and crampy, making me overall cranky, but it just pisses me off. Jenn posted at 12:48 AM | |
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We amended the state constitution in Cal Politics, creating a government that would be efficient and effective, without worrying about viability. We debated and bargained for our proposals to make the cut, voting and re-voting to come to a resolution. We created a 155-member unicameral legislature with 4 year terms and 20-year term limits. Committee chairs have to have served on that committee for at least one term before becoming chair. And most importantly, the super majority was reduced to a simple majority in all votes. If only... My new group and I are doing wonderfully on our project and I'm so happy. I'm pulling my weight and we're distributing work equally among ourselves. This is the way that groups are supposed to work. My middle ages class spent our period in the special collections at the library, admiring some of the original documents from the 14th century. They were beautiful in their simplistic elegance and so well-preserved. We also got some fantastic anecdotes about Prof R's time in the archives of Spain while he was doing his dissertation. Really fascinating and really funny! The sun was shining. The buses and trains were on time. I got to play lotto girl for the raffle at the end of class. KB and I chatted about last night's tv shows. Just an ordinary day in the best way. Jenn posted at 1:32 AM | |
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Just a few bullet points:
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Tomorrow is Free Scoop Day at Ben & Jerry's! It really doesn't get better than that. Jenn posted at 1:52 AM | |
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a way to start Monday: |
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Happy Birthday Anna! I hope you have a wonderful day - I miss you! Jenn posted at 6:09 AM | |
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Happy Birthday Danielle! I wish I could be there to help you celebrate, but I know you'll do it up right. Thanks for being my big sister and an awesome friend! Jenn posted at 6:08 AM | |
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My next door neighbors tried to steal my doormat. How do I know? Because when I came home from shopping this afternoon, it wasn't in front of my door. As if I wouldn't notice, they had put it in front of their door. Right. Next. Door. The stupidity of people kills me sometimes. Jenn posted at 9:29 PM | |
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So, apparently after almost eight months living here, my mail is finally being forwarded from LA. Except it's not good mail that I'm getting. It seems that all the sale ads and catalogues that I thought I had escaped have returned, thousandfold. For example, Omaha Steaks. The last time I remember actually purchasing steaks from them myself was in July 2003 when Chris and Olen visited and we cooked out on the beach. KB may have used my card to buy stuff for my birthday that year, but I definitely haven't purchased anything from them since he left in January 2004. But the sale ads just keep coming. I still get stuff addressed to me at my parents' house even though I haven't lived there for four years. Mostly charities and sale ads. You would think that after that long they would have gotten the message. You can leave home, but your junk mail will follow you wherever you go. Jenn posted at 7:18 PM | |
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Man, I'm such an idiot sometimes. I just don't think and then I do something stupid. I got an invite for a text messaging thing from a friend. I decided it looked fun and would register. As part of the registration, you can import your contacts to send invites to your friends to build your network. I misread the instructions and the system automatically invited EVERYONE in my address. *cue shame music* gMail automatically adds people to your address book anytime you send a message to anyone for anything. Which means there are a lot of people in my address book that I didn't want invites sent to. Like my professors. The dean. My financial advisor. The list of people who did not need to get this stupid e-mail goes on and on. Yeah, I'm an idiot and there's nothing I can do about it now. Those invites are out in the universe just waiting to humiliate me even further. I shouldn't be allowed to deal with people. Ever. Jenn posted at 2:04 AM | |
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So it was group day in Prof C's class again. I keep trying not to be terrified by this project, but it's hard when my group keeps dwindling to me and one other girl. Prof C recruited another girl (who has my name!) from another group to join us. We spent much of the group time with Prof C trying to come up with an idea. We finally got one and a time to meet outside of class. I'm not being falsely optimistic this time - I really think we have a good idea and a possibility to effect change. There's so much pressure on this project, even though it's worth the same as any of the other stuff that we've done. But at least now there's a plan. Jenn posted at 1:16 AM | |
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Under the Tuscan Sun has been running on the set of movie channels I get lately and every time I watch it, I still get the same feelings I did the first time I saw it. I can't remember the exact date, but it was after I quit HPR because I went back to visit for the first time. I ended up talking to Rey for longer than I should and got caught in rush hour traffic trying to make it back to pick up KB to go to the movie. I had already purchased the tickets, but we made it back a few minutes after his movie was scheduled to start. Perhaps I should have seen that as a sign of things to come, me going to see one movie, him to another. He was furious at me for being late, especially when he found out why I was so. I had to sit in the very front row off to the side. There was no time for movie snacks, no way for me to drown my guilty feelings in food. The beauty of the scenery, even from the nauseatingly close seat I occupied, moved me to the tears of which I was on the brink. But the thing that really struck me was the courage of this woman, who I have since learned used to be a professor at my school, to do something outrageous and scary to make herself feel alive. The story of the train tracks across the Alps really spoke to me - "they built it because they knew one day the train would come" - and I wished that I could flit off to Europe and lose myself in an adventure. Leaving the theatre, I was teary-eyed and shaky, feeling like my life was going to change. I was going to change it. I was tired of letting things happen to me. I wanted to do something for myself. I had already made my trip to the Bay Area and fallen in love, but I hadn't made any decisions about college quite yet. And deep down I knew that I was unhappy with KB, though I was too scared to do anything about it. I knew I didn't like my job, but it was too soon to know anything about it. But I saw that movie and I was changed. I realized that John Lennon was right (isn't he always?) - life is what happens when you're busy making other plans. The groundwork for my big life change, the next one, had been laid. It was up to me to actually go through with the big, scary decision. I never imagined it could turn out so well. On my best day in the entertainment industry I never felt as fulfilled as I did on a simple little day like today. I may complain about the weather, public transit and ridiculously high gas prices (and rent), but moving here (and to California in general) is the best decision I ever made. Jenn posted at 3:42 AM | |
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Today was such a good day even though nothing of consequence happened. Classes were good. In between classes was good. Even public transit was good. I'm so easily pleased these days - on time buses and trains, a singing dog and a new shirt are all I need to have a good day. Jenn posted at 2:53 AM | |
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To borrow a phrase from my friend, Erin, I have finished my Middle Ages abstract and because it is done, it is beautiful. Is it everything I wanted it to be? Is it as complete as it probably should be? No to both, but I have filled the page and now it is time for bed. I started yawning a few minutes ago and I thought to myself, man, I'm tired. I wonder why that is. Then I looked at the clock. It's 3 o'clock in the freakin' morning - maybe that's why you're tired. Duh. Jenn posted at 6:19 AM | |
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Tonight, all of the local stations ran stories about the rising price of gas. Nationwide, over the last 3 weeks, gas prices have risen 19 cents a gallon. The national average for 87 unleaded gas is $2.32. In the Bay Area, we've got a slightly different story happening. Over the same period of time, our gas prices (which were already higher than the national average) have risen 40 cents. The Bay Area average is $2.60 for cheap gas. The no-name brand gas station closest to my house was at $2.67 on Friday. As I drove through downtown on Saturday, the Chevron on Market was at $2.75. For regular 87 gas. High test was hovering around $2.95. Per gallon. Experts are saying that prices have plateaued for the moment and should be headed back down. As summer approaches with every passing day, I'm having a hard time believing that. I guess I should start gearing up for a cross-country road-trip with gas over $3.00/gallon. Sigh. Jenn posted at 2:52 AM | |
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I don't want another pretty face I don't want just anyone to hold I don't want my love to go to waste I want you and your beautiful soul "Beautiful Soul" by Jesse McCartney Trust me, I'm not trying to mistake pop lyrics for profound thought, but I've been obsessed with this song lately and it made me think. Can you really waste love? After every fight, break up, dumb crush that has you reverting back to adolescence, have you really wasted the time and energy and love that you invested in that relationship? Even if it was unrequited. I don't think that you can. For every bad decision I've made in the relationship department (and that is a lot...A LOT, a lot, a lot...), I can't say that I've ever wasted the love that I had for those people. Just something to ponder. Jenn posted at 2:18 AM | |
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You ever feel like a channel has created the night's line up just for you? On TBS tonight: 8pm-9pm - two reruns of Friends from the 4th season 9pm-11:40pm - The American President 11:40pm-1:45am - Three to Tango 1:45am-2:15am - Family Guy 2:15am-2:45am - Futurama All my favorite shows and movies in one night on one network. Life is good. Jenn posted at 2:41 AM | |
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I love walking into my room in the afternoon and observing my new curtains. My parents lovingly bought the curtains I wanted for my room over Spring Break. Unfortunately, my suitcase was over the weight limit when I went to check in, so they had to ship them to me. They arrived this week and it took me no time to put them up:    Try to ignore the messy desk! When the sun shines through my window in the afternoon (and I haven't opened the curtains), it casts a warm pink light all over the room that just makes me feel cuddly and warm inside. With the curtains finally in place in both rooms, I finally feel settled. Jenn posted at 5:28 PM | |
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I've been contemplating over the last few days that roads not taken in my life. I've ruminated about this before, but I've come to a more positive conclusion of late. I used to torture myself with how my life would be better if I hadn't done of some (or all) of the stupid shit that I've done since high school (and perhaps in high school as well). But I don't feel that way anymore. I was reading this post this afternoon and something really struck a chord with me. I'm constantly trying to re-invent myself with new shoes, new hair styles, less weight around my waist, whatever. I try on three or four outfits in the morning, looking for that perfect "look" to make me feel more confident, more intelligent, the better version of myself that will endear the world to me. I've come to realize though, that no matter how I dress it up, whether it be in a starched white shirt and skinny jeans or yoga pants with a Cal Bears t-shirt, I'm still just me. The supposedly brave girl who ditched her dead-end life on one coast to try to make a new one on another coast. Which brings me back to my original point. I used to think that I had missed something by leaving Texas or leaving the East Coast or not making any of the "right" choices along the way. But if I hadn't done all of those things, as expensive and painful and gut-wretching as they were, I wouldn't be where I am right now. I wouldn't have met my wonderful profs who encourage me and make me want to be the kind of student I always wanted to be. I wouldn't have gone to Sac and gotten to know my classmates who care about me as I them. I wouldn't get chills every time I see the sunset over the ocean and bathe the Golden Gate in beautiful glowing orange light. I wouldn't know that I can hang pictures and calendars and curtains, all by myself without any help from taller, more masculine people. It's strange how the simplest things can make me so happy in ways that I never thought I could be. Every day I feel more confident in my own skin, more comfortable with being just "me," more alive instead of just existing. Jenn posted at 1:37 AM | |
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"If the second episode of '20 Hours in America' doesn't make you cry, then you have no soul." "Oh." [pause] "Okay." I was emphatic with Prof C this morning when I gave him The West Wing Season 4 to borrow. I watched that episode on Monday night and I admit, I got a little weepy during the montage following the pipe bombing announcement. The President makes a speech that gets me everytime: I have a feeling though that I might have overstated the emotionality (is that even a word?!) of the episode though in light of recent events. I think I'm just going through an emotional period in my life and I'm struck by the beauty of everyday things. Eh, I'm sure Prof C will figure it out. If not, I'm sure it won't keep him nights. Jenn posted at 7:30 PM | |
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I got an e-mail from one of the organizations I applied to intern with this summer, with a rejection letter attached. Lovely. I'm still waiting to hear from the rest of the organizations, but it still hurts. I bought season 4 of The West Wing, the end of the Sorkin years, to cheer myself up. Sigh. Jenn posted at 7:34 PM | |
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Why can I not get out of Staples for less than $50? I went into get printer paper and came out with all of this *stuff* that I do need, but probably didn't need to buy today. One of my favorite things about my job at HPR was ordering from Staples. Something about new office supplies just appeals to me. I thought I had grown out of it during the whole cups fiasco at GII, but here I am again, like a kid on the first day of school. Jenn posted at 9:50 PM | |
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I slept in and everything yesterday, but I was still totally screwed up at school today because of Daylight Savings. It didn't help that all the clocks in the building were stuck at 7:30. It's great how it's still bright and sunny out right now because it makes me feel like it's still afternoon instead of evening, but the mornings just suck. I heard someone mention in class today that if a candidate ran for President on the sole platform of doing away with DST, she'd vote for him. I'm not sure I'm that extreme, but it definitely would be funny ;) Jenn posted at 9:19 PM | |
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I hope it's fabulous just like you! Jenn posted at 4:39 AM | |