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I know you probably won't read this, but I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking about you today. Don't tell the girls, but you're my favorite cousin. You've been my "big sister" from Day One. I've never known life without you and I hope I never have to. All my best memories growing up (until 4th grade when you moved) are with you. Remember when we went down to the creek and I slipped and fell, scraping my knee and we had to impromptu first aid so our parents wouldn't know? Or the time we spent at Sea World after Christmas (but before we had "bed issues" and didn't speak for two days)? You are the sister I never knew I always wanted and I'm so grateful. Thanks for being who you are and I wish you a wonderful milestone birthday! Jenn posted at 4:13 AM | |
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I collect postcards. I don't remember when I started, but I've got a ton. Of course, the majority have come from Caryn, Kristin and Katie during their wonderful travels. (Caryn, can you believe it's been 5 years since you were at Harlaxton?!) Like my pictures, my postcards tell stories - not mine, but those that I love - and I love to remember them. Anyway, I saw a page in a Pottery Barn catalogue one time with postcards posted around the room's window, like a frame. I always wanted to try it, but I never found the time. Tonight, I started my "collage."  |
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It was the movie that gave my name a whole 'nother pronounciation, which annoyed me at first, but soon became one of the my favorite things. I learned to play the suite on the piano (it was the only thing I would practice on a regular basis) and I stayed up to watch the Academy Awards for the first time, recording the results in my diary. ABC aired Forrest Gump tonight and even though I know everything that happens, it still gets to me. It's no secret that I'm a huge fan of Tom Hanks. He's the one actor that I would pay to watch read the phone or the dictionary. In this film, he just takes me to another place -- there's no discernable Hanks in the character -- where ordinary people can do extraordinary things without even trying. Sometimes it would stop raining long enough for the stars to come out... and then it was nice. It was like just before the sun goes to bed down on the bayou. There was always a million sparkles on the water... like that mountain lake. It was so clear, Jenny, it looked like there were two skies one on top of the other. And then in the desert, when the sun comes up, I couldn't tell where heaven stopped and the earth began. It's so beautiful. I wish I could've been there with you. You were. Jenn posted at 1:55 AM | |
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Judge Orders Feeding Tube to Be Removed I'm not really one to lecture, but I can't stress this point too strongly. No matter which side of the debate you are on, I beg you to consult a lawyer and have a living will put together. It's relatively painless and it can save much heartache later. Even if you are young and healthy, you never know what could happen tomorrow that could change your life forever. It's not a fun conversation to have. Trust me, I've had the conversation with my parents and I currently have copies of their AMD, will and power of attorney. I know what their wishes are and more than that, I have it in writing. Jenn posted at 2:29 AM | |
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In the ER episode "Going Home," Rosemary Clooney guest stars as a woman with dementia who sings big band standards. John Carter (Noah Wyle) spends the day with her while they try to piece together her identity and he falls under her spell. Besides the fact that she can't always remember who she is or where or what she's doing, she can sing her songs and feel just like everyone else. When her granddaughter comes to pick her up, she impulsively reaches out to Carter and hugs him, saying "Love you, love you, love you." He hugs her back and says "I love you too." Why isn't it always that simple? There's no long, protracted mental games, just a simple spoken sentiment. Madame X is unrepentent in her declaration of love; she says how she feels when she feels it. She can't tell you who the current President is, but she knows every song in Ella Fitzgerald's catalog. Who are we to say which is normal and which is eccentric? I wish I had more of her courage. Jenn posted at 3:25 PM | |
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I use Quicken to do my checkbook. In the latest version, it looks at your regular debits and credits and asks if you want to schedule them so you don't forget. And what's on my list? Power company Water company Health insurance Cell phone Pizza Hut Yeah, I've got to start changing the way I eat. Jenn posted at 2:51 PM | |
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Well both papers are done and I feel much better. Tomorrow's Friday which makes it even better than that ;) My day was okay, not great, but not too awful. Here's hoping for a fabulous Friday! Jenn posted at 2:14 AM | |
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How much of a nerd am I? I've decided to turn in my American City paper as a webpage because it looks better when I add the pictures. I'll put up the link when I'm done. Jenn posted at 11:43 PM | |
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I've read the book. I've been to class. I know the arguments I want to make. Why oh why do I still have writer's block for this 4-5 page paper that's due in 9 hours?! I'm so tired and all I want to do is go to bed, but I'm only half done with this stupid paper that's worth 20% of my grade. Here's hoping I can turn out something respectable for Prof C in the next hour or so because after that, I'm going to bed. Jenn posted at 4:22 AM | |
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The rain is pounding on my window, a staccato rhythm that's just loud enough not to be soothing. Lying in bed, reading, a movement catches my eye. Lifting my gaze from the words in front of me, I see the object of my distraction. There is a giant spider creeping his way along my wall. In another phase of my life, I would screamed, yelled for help, danced around the room like a little girl. Unfortunately, should I have chosen to do that, the problem would still remain. Quickly and quietly, I moved my laptop onto the desk and whipped off the covers. Turning on lights as I went, I grabbed a tissue from the box in the bathroom. Pausing at my bedroom doorway, I steeled myself for what I had to do. The spider, perhaps sensing his fate, had moved from his horizontal path to a vertical one. In a graceful bound, I'm standing on my bed, tissue poised, ready for action. My greatest fear is that I will miss and he will fall, leaving me without recourse, but knowing that he is still out there (and now, pissed off). I take deep breath and lunge at the wall. I hold the tissue over the body for a moment before moving it away. The legs I can see curl up (whether this is a reflex or a sign of mere injury, not death, I cannot be sure). I wad the tissue carefully, so as not to actually touch any part of the spider. Not quite as gracefully, I hop down from the bed and run into the bathroom. The tissue goes in the toilet, which I quickly flush. It's over. I lower the lid on the toilet and turn off the bathroom light. My heart is still pounding, like the rain outside (that seems to have intensified during this episode), but with a few deep breaths, I'm able to lay down again. All is peaceful in my room again. Jenn posted at 5:04 AM | |
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So, even though I have to go to class on Monday, I'm going to have a little President's Day marathon of my favorite presidential movies and television shows when I get home. Here's what I have so far (in no particular order): What else needs to go on this list? What are you favorite presidential movies? Jenn posted at 8:48 PM | |
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I can't find the remote. I've been watching the History Channel for two hours now because I can't find the remote. When I survey the wreck that my apartment has become, it seems only natural that I can't find anything. But that ends today. Tomorrow will be about school work, writing samples and answering e-mails. Today I will clean this place from top to bottom. It will be fit for guests even though none are expected. Hopefully, then, I'll be able to find the remote. Jenn posted at 4:25 PM | |
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Two-minute hailstorm then melts into rain sing me a rainbow it’s sunny again Swallows overhead while the traffic snarls below Could I keep dreaming for a little while longer? "When I'm Thinking About You" by The Sundays Jenn posted at 6:02 PM | |
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I was doing dishes tonight (I know, I was as surprised as you!) and I came upon a fork that's different than the others. The summer I moved to California, I met KB at Kilborn. Since we weren't getting paid, he got a job at a hotel in Beverly Hills to pay the rent on his nasty apartment. One night, he was working and I was bored, so I went to visit him. I was wearing my camo pants that I got on ASP senior year and my favorite white t-shirt that has faded ink stains (from when my dad left a pen in his pocket). Definitely not Beverly Hills material, but when I walked in, he laugh his ass off (and I did too). It was busy that night, but he thought he would be able to grab some dinner with me. We went into the bar and he ordered up some fabulous chicken dish for each of us. We went out to my car (valet parked, of course) and started to eat. We hadn't had more than a few bites before he got called away for some crisis. He was working the night shift, so we said goodbye and I went home. It wasn't until I got home that I realized, I still had the hotel's fork. I vowed to wash it and have KB return it. As is still my habit, I rarely do dishes (especially silverware), so I didn't get it washed immediately. KB went to NYC for some job interviews and I forgot about it. He came back and the next day was 9/11/01. Because of 9/11, he was laid off and we never did return to that hotel. Three and a half years later, I still have the fork. The hotel's under new management and I live in a different city. But every time I use it, I think of KB and those carefree summer days where entertainment ruled my life, watching the sun set over the ocean was my favorite thing in the world and people never flew airplanes into buildings on purpose. Jenn posted at 12:19 AM | |
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I got the cutest shoes today! Actually I got two pairs of shoes, but only one pair was on sale. I got black leather Unlisted heels, originally priced at $39.99 for $3.50! They were the very last pair (I had to do some searching to find the box with the mate since the right one was the floor sample) and when I picked them up, I thought they were $7.00. Turns out they were marked down at the register again! It doesn't get better than that! Jenn posted at 1:16 AM | |
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When I say "business casual," what does that mean to you? Jenn posted at 6:28 PM | |
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"A lurker waits for you to give up and then…" "Kills you?" While reading Maura's post, I was reminded of a conversation I had with Lauren last summer. Even though we hadn't spoken in person in years, she had been reading my blog enough to know that I had moved. I wonder if she's still out there, reading about me. I wonder who else is out there, reading about my life that I used to know. There are those I know that read and comment and those that read and don't comment, but it's the ones I don't know about that make me think. If you search a version of my name, my blog comes up. Every few weeks, I see a search of my name that has led someone to my blog and I wonder who it is. Is it the same person? Is it a classmate from high school? A member of my family? Someone from State? I don't kid myself that I know everyone who reads this. I've become more private about sharing every little detail, but since this is the primary way in which I keep in touch with my friends, if you read this, you know me. Comment and let me get to know you. Jenn posted at 2:37 AM | |
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Look at me standing Here on my own again Up straight in the sunshine No need to laugh and cry It's a wonderful, wonderful life No need to run and hide It's a wonderful, wonderful life "Wonderful Life" by Lara Fabian Jenn posted at 10:47 PM | |
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After getting caught without an umbrella in a rainstorm yesterday, I decided to check the forecast for today before I got dressed (though I could hear the cars driving through water on the street). "Heavy rain" said weather.com for the next 36 hours. Great. Checking the 10-day forecast, I got even more depressed. Not only is there rain predicted for today and tomorrow, but it's going to rain every day until next Tuesday. Then it's just going to be cloudy. Have I mentioned I hate the weather here? Jenn posted at 9:34 PM | |
When I was a senior in high school, the SGA did a fundraiser for Valentine's day. People could buy a rose with a message that would be delivered during second period by a member of the SGA. Not having a boyfriend at that point, I wasn't expecting to receive any roses. So imagine my surprise when an SGA member came in with flowers for me and my friend, Anna. Our friend Genevieve had bought roses for all of us from our favorite celebrity. It was such a sweet gesture that meant the world to me. On a day when I was usually bitter and unhappy, Genevieve had given me a reason to smile. So instead of bemoaning my fate as a single woman on yet another Valentine's Day, I'm going to take my cues from Gen and my post from last year and enjoy all the different kinds of love that I do have. I have such wonderful friends and a devoted family that I wouldn't trade for the world. On this day of love and romance, I choose to celebrate that. Jenn posted at 3:03 AM | |
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Yesterday was such a gorgeous day. I got up at 10:30 because I had to meet my project partner in Noe Valley at 11:30. For my American City class, we have to go to a San Francisco neighborhood and observe it without preconceived notions. After that, since I was out, I decided to drive downtown and have some fun. I went to Ghirardelli Square to pick up some chocolate and then over to Fisherman's Wharf to have lunch at my favorite pizza place. After lunch, I drove over to one of my favorite San Francisco spots, the Palace of Fine Arts. Since I had my camera and it was a beautiful afternoon, I got a ton of great shots. I've got to remember to treat myself to days out more often. Jenn posted at 6:33 PM | |
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I finally got the pictures up from Christmas break, so check 'em out! Jenn posted at 2:03 AM | |
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My dad told me that Kristin is sick now. In the last two weeks, Caryn, Kristin and I have all come down with the same thing and the only contact we've had is via the internet. I guess it really is "going around!" Jenn posted at 2:33 AM | |
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Happy 11th Birthday Kristen!! You were born a month early on a Thursday 11 years ago. It was between snow storms, but I still didn't have school that day. You were so tiny, but you liked me right away, just like your sister. It's hard to believe it's been so long ago and yet it feels like it's been forever. You're turning into a wonderful young lady ;) Jenn posted at 4:11 AM | |
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California's correctional population is equivalent to that of Maine and Vermont guarded by the state of Wyoming. Jenn posted at 11:14 PM | |
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I am going to try to cook tonight. Don't worry, I've plugged the smoke detector back in and the fire station is on alert. I saw a commercial for Cambell's tomato soup with sour cream and shredded cheese and it looked really good. I already have the can of soup, so all I need is cheese, milk and sour cream. I'm pretty sure I've already got a pot to cook it in around here somewhere. Wish me luck! Jenn posted at 8:16 PM | |
I first saw the ABC family movie version of this book last spring and loved it. I've been dying to read the book ever since. Unfortunately, having seen the movie, it did totally spoil the "surprise" ending and I found myself constantly trying to compare what happened in the movie to what was happening in the book. That said, I loved seeing Jane try to find a date for her cousin's wedding and dealing with being a single girl in the wedding world ;) Previously read in 2005:      
Jenn posted at 1:33 PM
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I wish Taco Bell delivered. I'm totally sick. I blame the girl who was coughing like crazy in my American City class on Tuesday. I had so much I was going to do this weekend and I can't even pull myself off the couch to make some more tea. Jenn posted at 10:47 PM | |
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One time when I was in seventh grade, I forgot my lunch in my locker. I went back after lunch had started with my friend Gerardo through the virtually deserted halls. I had had a growth spurt that month, but being on a budget, my parents and I hadn't gotten around to getting me new jeans. As we walked back to the lunch room, two upperclassmen came up behind us, laughing. "Where's the flood?" one of them cracked as they went by. Last night, I watched Teri Hatcher's interview on PrimeTime Live. She mentioned a time in 8th grade when she asked a boy to dance and he said no. Later she said that for a long time, she thought she would always be "the girl the guy said no to in 8th grade." Is it really that simple? I deliberately avoid situations so as not to try anything new. We had to pick groups for a project in one of my classes this week. After sitting there petrified that I would again suffer the "last one picked" fate, I paired myself up with another alternative student (read older -- she's got a teenage kid) to avoid being rejected by another group of students that's more my age. When the girl at the bus stop this afternoon offers me a seat, now that she's put out her cigarette, I politiely decline, instead of facing a potential conversation. Will I always be timid about new situations because I was a nerd in high school? Even though no one knows that here, I still walk around with a virtual scarlet D (for Dork) emblazoned on my State sweatshirt. Why am I so afraid to walk with my head up, smiling? Is it really better to avoid rejection by rejecting first? I've made friends in the past. I have great friends now, most of whom have loved me since my flannel phase in the early 90s. When I transformed my look in 11th grade, did I miss the revision of my mentality? I felt more confident, more beautiful, more worthy of praise with short hair and contacts. But now it's 8 years later and I can't make eye contact with my peers. I'd say it's self-esteem issues, except I basically like who I am. I mean, I wish that I had friends that shared my area code, but I like that I'm smart and sarcastic. I work hard at school and have big ambitions for the rest of my life. I've actually made peace with not having a boyfriend right now. So if all that's true, why do I feel like I'll always be the girl with too-short jeans and big purple glasses? Jenn posted at 6:10 PM | |
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So, I got myself out of bed and schlepped myself to school this morning so we could watch a movie and answer one question about it. Yeah, that was worth it. I don't have class again until 1, so I came home and am currently watching my fabulous daytime television and eating Goldfish. Life is good. Jenn posted at 2:11 PM | |
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I did some window shopping in Corte Madera this afternoon and I found the cutest shoes. It was so hard not to buy them because they would go so well with the skirt I'm going to wear on V-Day ;) 
Jenn posted at 11:30 PM
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At the end of the month, my college is one of a few that will be participating in the Sacramento Legislative Seminar. The Sunday through Tuesday event includes paid hotel and registration fees. We'll hear panels on a number of topics facing legislators in California and have a chance to interact with staff and other important people in the California politics. Prof C is one of the organizers and passed out information about it today in class. He passed around a sheet asking for interested parties to sign up, so he could get an idea of how many people to expect. Last year they had about 10-12 people go and they had enough funding for about the same number this year. By the time the sign up sheet got to me, there were already about 20 names on the list, 95% of them girls. I dutifully added my name and passed it on. I guess I'm not the only one who thinks that spending the weekend in Sac with Prof C would be totally awesome. Jenn posted at 6:16 PM | |
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I got my annual Windsor prom catalogue, which as I've said before is like porn for me. I love how they name each gown with a girl's name. I wish there was a job where I could have enough money and occasions for all of these wonderful gowns. ::sigh:: They also have a new bridal collection, but I didn't see anything that would be good for the upcoming weddings I'm in/attending. So, here are the requisite "these are my favorites" pictures:      In other news, my second first day of school went off without a hitch. There are at least two holidays/no class days that fall on TTh, which rocks. Both profs rambled for the entire class time without really saying anything, which sucks. Hopefully that won't happen in the future, or it's going to be a LONG semester. Jenn posted at 6:40 PM | |
I finished this book on the plane Saturday night. It was a great combination of the ridiculousness reality TV and the typical girl-moves-from-somewhere-else-to-NYC cuteness. I loved how she got so caught up in the hype. I could totally see myself doing the same thing, but I'm sure I'd never get picked for a show like that. I didn't really like the ending, but I'll live. Previously read over break:
Jenn posted at 1:55 AM
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(Hey, if "I Love the 90s" can do it, I can do it too!) For part one, check here. The day did not start well. I had some period-related problems this morning that caused me to miss my first class. The class with the head of the department, a professor that I have not had before. :sigh: Prof C is still as charming and engaging as ever and I'm sure that I'm going enjoy his class. I think he remembered me from last semester because he smiled at me when he came into class. We're going to be doing an awesome group project and seminar that I'll go into detail about later. Prof R is still awesome as well. The class is pretty big, but I think we'll have a good time. I'm actually looking forward to the research paper and it's due two weeks before finals, so I won't be stressing like last semester. At least not about that. Jenn posted at 1:03 AM | |