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Well, Grandma came through surgery just fine and she should be making a good recovery. We survived the unspecified threat around my office. I made it through a hormonally emotional day without crying and with a stronger bond with my coworkers/friends. John and Julie are coming out to visit me in May! Jenn posted at 2:54 AM | |
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Daddy's favorite little girl Dress up in your momma's pearls Serve us breakfast in her bed Heard a little kiss on the forehead You are sugar You are spice You are growing up so nice Paint your nails Paint your face Paint around the empty space Find a man that can provide Try and fill the hole inside With a family and a home Tell yourself you're not alone Keep your memories of yourself In a shoebox on a closet shelf But you deserve to be loved You deserve something real Time to heal Time to feel "To Be Loved" by Curtis Stigers Jenn posted at 4:21 AM |
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I remember reading this post of A's and thinking about some of the albums and songs that I have connected to certain points in my life. 
Dawson's Creek Soundtrack I remember listening to this for the first time while driving to Lauren's house in Fairfax Station to get ready for prom. I had just gotten it even though it had been out for over a month already. I was crooning along with all the tracks, but I particularly liked "Stay You" by Wood. I played it over and over again as I drove on 123. I just recently pulled it out again and I'm still drawn to that song. 
Felicity Soundtrack I listened to this every night on ASP my senior year. I had just gotten it before going on Tour, where I listened to it quite bit while Caitlin listened to my Dawson's Creek soundtrack. I was so angry and confused and just not happy on ASP that I really loved Heather Nova's "Heart and Shoulder." The lonely, forlorn lyrics that embody most of the songs on the CD really spoke to me and helped me to sleep when I was going through such turmoil. I've wondered since then why I didn't talk to anyone about what I was feeling. Perhaps if I had gotten those anxious, scared feelings out of my mind where I could compound them, I wouldn't have had a nervous breakdown a month later in Texas. But alas, I did not... Honorable mentions of ASP songs from that year go to Somebody Kill Me from the first Wedding Singer soundtrack (it was like a mantra for those hot days) and Praise You by Fat Boy Slim, which we would listen to on our way back to the center. To this day, that song always makes me think of Matt and Chris and the Marine Team. 
Runaway Bride Soundtrack I was drawn to this soundtrack even though I've never seen the movie. I'm not even sure what song I bought it for. Maybe I had just heard that it was good. But I remember driving to church from NOVA, having left my lab early to get ready for Andy's memorial service, and Marc Anthony's "You Sang to Me" came on. And it was like I couldn't cry hard enough. Something about that song, those lyrics...it reminded me of Andy and I singing together in "The Big Picture." I couldn't listen to that soundtrack again and I haven't in the four years since. 
Passenger by Tara MacLean This is the CD I would listen to on the days that I would drive to Mason to go to class or pretend that I was going to class. Tara's voice was so haunting and I felt haunted as I wandered alone through the throngs of people and cars, trying to fit in a place that I never would. And there are a million CDs like that. It's so strange that I would identify a certain CD or song with an event in my life like this. In high school, there were songs that were special, but it was usually because I danced with someone to them or we would all sing along in the car to them. Just very odd to me. Jenn posted at 4:11 AM | |
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I would just like to state for the record that I behaved like an adult today. I could have furthered my own cause by omitting things that I know to be true, but instead I was forthcoming and honest. I didn't have to be, but I was truthful and even went above and beyond the question, doing a disservice to myself at least in the short term. But in the end, I think this honestly will help me in the long term. And after all was said and done, I actually felt fine about it. Could I actually be evolving as a person? In other news, I had a massive migraine this morning, so I didn't go into work until noon. Which meant I stayed until about 6pm -- long enough to bond with K over Cool Ranch Doritos, Twix and Hawaiian Punch. I finally finished a proposal prototype for a large client that I've been working on for my boss. Man it feels good to have that off my desk, even temporarily. And since I slept in this morning while my medicine was working, I'm wired tonight. And I'm having the weirdest thoughts. I spent an hour researching wedding coordinators in the Bay Area. Not because I'm getting married (duh!), but because I was thinking about becoming one. How strange is that? I blame Chris and my dad. They are starting to get serious about this wedding video business thing and I've been thinking about marketing strategies which led me to TheKnot.com and wedding stuff. But what do I know about planning a wedding? The last wedding I went to, I made the bride cry (not one of my better moments). I should really get some sleep or at least be writing on something that matters, but instead, I continue to ramble on. Jenn posted at 3:12 AM |
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I love the way you speak And I love the way you swear I love the way you walk around with your head held in the air I love the way your words move And I love the way you drive I love the way you're scared of people scared to be alive "Stay You" by Wood Jenn posted at 1:28 AM |
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Let's walk to the café And sit in the sun And read all the papers And watch everyone Cause Life is Short Life is sweet And Sometimes you've just got to set yourself free "Waste The Day" by Heather Nova Jenn posted at 10:11 PM |
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Life is only half way in our hands Years have passed while I was making plans And I could never find the words I always felt absurd, and always outside But now I know I shouldn't care "What A Feeling" by Heather Nova Jenn posted at 12:04 AM |
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Okay, people, I need your help! My feet are gross and I need them to be cute again ;) No matter how much I moisturize, they are still dry. I'm getting weird callouses from my shoes that I've never gotten before (especially on the big toe) and my toenails just don't look nice. Short of a parafin bath (cause I don't have one...anyone know where I can get one for cheap?), what can I do? Give me products, treatments, you name it -- I need it! We're getting into sandal season (okay, been there for a few weeks already) and I need cute feet! Jenn posted at 3:15 PM | |
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I missed church today. I really fully intended on going this morning. I even looked up the times for the services. But when the alarm went off, I just couldn't get up. I hit snooze several times before just turning it off completely. I ended up waking up to the people next door (in the next building) using electric hedgeclippers on the vegetation growing up along the fence between the two properties. Not exactly ideal. I lounged around, while trying to get accustomed to the soreness in my legs and abdomen from yesterday's yogarificness. After watching one too many 7th Heaven episodes, I decided to get off my ass and do something on this lovely day. I wasn't quite up to jogging, so I decided to go for a sunset walk on the beach. I showered and shaved and moisturized and dress in my black cotton VS dress with flops and headed west. As expected, it was crowded with people, but the further I walked, the more dispersed the crowd became. I ended up walking from the Pier to Patrick's Roadhouse (the light before Sunset) and back. While on my walk, I saw a California sea lion that had come up to hang out on the beach. Some people were getting a little to close to take pictures as far as I was concerned. I took my photos from a respectable distance (about 5 feet) and continued on my way. I feel really good about my walk and I think I'm going to do my ballet tape tomorrow. After I go to yoga, I'm always sore, so I don't do anything physical for like 4 or 5 days afterward. I'm never going to get fit and get the body I want by doing that, so I'm trying to work a little bit every day. We'll see how it goes. Walking along the beach reminding me of my senior beach retreat when Matt and Byron and someone else (I can't remember for the life of me!) and I were walking around in the dark, just having a really good time, talking about school and crushes and sex (it always comes back to sex!) and church and whatnot. I remember that going for a walk on the beach retreat was such a sacred thing. People would reserve "walks" on the bus on the way down to make sure that they'd get some one on one time with whoever they really needed to talk to. Seems so silly to think about that now, that those spontaneous, friendship-affirming moments could be scheduled. I actually thought a lot about high school while I was walking. I was such an insecure person. Actually, I still am...I'm probably worse now. But there were so many things that I never enjoyed because I was too busy being pissy about stupid shit. I concentrate so much on who didn't pay attention to me, who didn't give me hugs or invite me out places, that I totally ignored the people and the things that I was involved with. Reading over my ASP journal, I was always so pissed off during those weeks. I don't even remember why. My senior year, I was on a team with my best friend and I still didn't have a good time. We should have had a blast together. I should have treasured the time we spent together. It's one of the last times that we were really together with each other. But I didn't. I isolated myself, wrote angry things in my journal about people who weren't paying enough attention to me and missed out on another great experience. No wonder I never had a boyfriend in high school (well, two, but neither one really counts) -- who would have wanted to deal with this basketcase? It's a wonder that my friends from that time are still friends with me. I must have had some redeeming qualities, though for the life of me, I can't figure out what they were. I'd like to think that I've changed, that I've grown up. That now that I pay my own bills and work all day, every day, that I'm past all of that ridiculous bullshit. Perhaps I am. Perhaps I've moved on to another version of that bullshit that I won't be able to recognize for another six or seven years. ::sigh:: I wish I could get past it all. Move forward, away from the crazy toward being an adult. Form healthy relationships with people. ::sigh:: Maybe someday... Jenn posted at 4:13 AM | |
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And I would just like to say Rock on, Matt! Jenn posted at 3:58 AM |
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I hope it's just as fabulous as you are! Jenn posted at 4:32 AM |
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Remember when we used to talk all night? We didn't get much sleep Talkin' 'bout and plannin' out our lives And who we're gonta be Things were so much different then Our lives have changed so much my friend But you and I will always believe "Friends Forever" by Thunderbugs Jenn posted at 1:45 AM | |
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To you, I would give the world To you, I'd never be cold 'Cause I feel that when I'm with you It's alright, I know it's right And the songbirds keep singing Like they know the score And I love you, I love you, I love you Like never before "Songbird" by Eva Cassidy Jenn posted at 1:35 AM |
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Today was such a beautiful day! I'm sure it was in the 90s and the sun was shining clearly...not a cloud in the supremely blue sky. I met up with Danielle (with her daughter Maya) and Flor for yoga and lunch. We dished (okay, they dished and I absorbed) about HPR gossip. Seems things are going to hell in a handbasket over there...and over stupid shit too. Once again, I'm glad I am where I am. Sure, I miss playing silly songs over the intercom and the casual atmosphere and working with people my age, but at the same time, those things just don't make a good company. I do miss it sometimes...well, the people anyway. I miss Rey and Nate and Albert and D and Kim and Flor and Lily and Shana...but life goes on. I got home from all that and was going to shower and continue to enjoy the day outside. But the workout and full stomach turned me into a sloth. The sun has gone down now and I'm still sitting inside, reading with the sliding door open. There's always tomorrow (which looks to be as great as today). I hope to stop by the beach for a walk after church. I think I got a great tan sitting outside at lunch today, but I could always use more sun. Rachel commented to me when I was home last that I have such a great memory for dates. And it's true. I (usually) never forget a birthday, anniversary or special event. But at the same time, it can "haunt" me. Today is Jon's birthday. He's 22 today and he's probably graduating from the Naval Academy this year (if he's on the four year plan). But I don't know him anymore. And it makes me sad. This guy used to be one of my best friends. We had inside jokes and we always had a good time together. We could talk about anything and everything. I shaved his head, for goodness sakes! But he got a girlfriend that didn't like our church and started to be distant with us. I said and did things that I shouldn't have, no matter the circumstances, and now we ignore each other if we happen to be in the same room. And it just sucks. It shouldn't have happened. I could blame him and the girlfriend, say he changed his personality and just write it off, but I was to blame as well. I took things way too personally, held a grudge for far too long and now he is no longer my friend. He's at the top of my Almost list, but we haven't spoken in years. Sometimes people just drift away from each other and it's natural and expected -- but this was deliberate and calculated on my part (perhaps on his part as well), which is why it feels so weird. I could have chosen not act the way I did. ::sigh:: Well, I'm thinking about going to see "13 Going on 30" tonight. I guess I should go shower and see how I feel after that. I could really use a big bearhug right about now. Jenn posted at 10:58 PM | |
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Matt! |
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Yoga was so good tonight! It's like Gurmukh knew what I needed to hear. She talked a bunch at the beginning about being in Florida over the weekend for her father-in-law's 80th birthday and how he lives his life happily and joyfully. She also talked a lot about always having the expression on our face that we want to grow old with because the muscles in our face will adapt as we grow older. Then she talked about unconditional love -- a running theme in my life right now. It was really amazing. She was really happy and funny during the whole class actually. And we worked out like crazy too. I'm already sore and it's only been 4 hours since the class finished! I probably won't be able to lift my arms over my head tomorrow and I'm trying to figure out which shoes will offer support but won't put too much pressure on the balls of my feet because we really worked them out tonight. I really am so glad I decided to go. I also stopped at Organized Living after yoga to pick up some stuff to help me get my apartment in better order. The goal of this week is to get everything cleaned and put away. I need to throw things away and get organized. I'll have less stress if my apartment is in order. I can't find my immunization papers right now. I know I had them out because I need to copy them to send to SFSU, but now I can't find them. I know they are around and I'll just feel better once they are found. I want to be able to walk around in the dark without worrying that I'm going to trip on something and sprain my ankle. Lofty goals, I know. Tomorrow is a day that I dread, but like Adam, I will be looking for a rainbow. Jenn posted at 2:35 AM | |
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The time to move forward is at hand, Jenny. This is a 1-Day, and you are sure to feel energetic and ready to go. Don't let mistakes, mishaps or upsets hold you back. There really isn't any point to this, as you cannot change what has already happened, no matter how much you wish you could. The best thing you can do is to seize the possibilities this new cycle brings, Three. The one thing you do have control over is what you do now. Jenn posted at 9:51 AM | |
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I ____ Jenn. Jenn is ____. Jenn thinks a lot about _______. When I think of _________, I think of Jenn. If I were alone in a room with Jenn, i would _______. I think Jenn should _____. Jenn needs ______. I want to ____________ Jenn. If I could describe Jenn in a word, it would be _______. Jenn posted at 11:27 PM | |
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Amanda blogged this and I felt like I need to blog these lyrics too. And I think I'm going to get the album as well. I'll give you countless amounts of outright acceptance if you want it. I will give you encouragement to choose the path that you want if you need it. You can speak of anger and doubts, your fears and freak outs and I'll hold it. You can share your so-called shame-filled accounts of times in your life and I won't judge it. And there are no strings attached to it. You owe me nothing for giving the love that I give, You owe me nothing for caring the way that I have. I give you thanks for receiving, it's my privilege, And you owe me nothing in return. You can ask for space for yourself and only yourself and I'll grant it. You can ask for freedom as well or time to travel and you'll have it. You can ask to live by yourself or love someone else and I'll support it. You can ask for anything you want, anything at all, and I'll understand it. And there are no strings attached to it. I bet you're wondering when the next payback shoe will eventually drop. I bet you're wondering when my conditional police will force you to cough up. I bet you're wondering how far you have now danced your way back into debt. This is the only kind of love as I understand it, that there really is. You can express your deepest of truths even if it means I'll lose you and I'll hear it. You can fall into the abyss on your way to your bliss, I'll empathize with. You can say that you have to skip town to chase your passion and I'll hear it. You can even hit rock bottom, have a mid-life crisis and I'll hold it. And there are no strings attached to it. Jenn posted at 9:26 PM | |
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I just want to say I love you to Adam and Katie. In the light of day, things don't seem so bad. I'm reminded that though I may not go out with people around here very much, I'll never be alone. Jenn posted at 6:38 PM | |
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While being idealistic can lead you to create some wonderful works of art, it can also bring challenge, Jenny. You will need to harness self-control to prevent getting too caught up in a surrealistic take on life. This can see you cause damage to yourself, and possibly to others by not presenting the facts as clearly as you could. You must keep yourself grounded in the real world, and this will take some time to master, Three. This 9-Day can help with this. Jenn posted at 3:32 AM | |
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Don't tell me I haven't been good to you don't tell me I have never been there for you don't tell me why nothing is good enough "Good Enough" by Sarah McLachlan Jenn posted at 8:59 PM | |
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I think I'm actually going to get off my ass this afternoon to pick up one of these two DVD shelves from Crate and Barrel. My bookshelves are overrun with DVDs, so I need to move the DVDs to make room for my books. I'm going to finally change the rug in the living room and do a scrub down of the whole place. I need to cleanse my life and my apartment is going to get the brunt of it this weekend. Jenn posted at 6:56 PM |
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Now we've all grown up, gone on and moved away Nothing I can do about it, nothing I can say To bring us back to where we were when life was not this hard Looking back it all just seems so far, so far away We'll be miles apart I'll keep you deep inside You're always in my heart A new life to start "Miles Apart" by Yellowcard Jenn posted at 6:47 PM | |
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Can someone please explain to me how this is even going to work? How are they going to take the show from HBO and cut it down to the 23 minutes that most 30 minutes shows are to allow from commercials? And the storylines? Some of the storylines are purely sexual -- how are they going to cut those out and still have everything make sense? I love this show and I'm glad that it's still going to be on television, but I just don't see how it's going to work. Especially on TBS -- not exactly the network that pushes the envelope like Bravo or fX. Jenn posted at 6:21 PM | |
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italicize/bold those you have read, underline those you want to read Beowulf Achebe, Chinua - Things Fall Apart Agee, James - A Death in the Family Austen, Jane - Pride and Prejudice Baldwin, James - Go Tell It on the Mountain Beckett, Samuel - Waiting for Godot Bellow, Saul - The Adventures of Augie March Brontë, Charlotte - Jane Eyre Brontë, Emily - Wuthering Heights Camus, Albert - The Stranger Cather, Willa - Death Comes for the Archbishop Chaucer, Geoffrey - The Canterbury Tales Chekhov, Anton - The Cherry Orchard Chopin, Kate - The Awakening Conrad, Joseph - Heart of Darkness Cooper, James Fenimore - The Last of the Mohicans Crane, Stephen - The Red Badge of Courage Dante - Inferno de Cervantes, Miguel - Don Quixote Defoe, Daniel - Robinson Crusoe Dickens, Charles - A Tale of Two Cities Dostoyevsky, Fyodor - Crime and Punishment Douglass, Frederick - Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass Dreiser, Theodore - An American Tragedy Dumas, Alexandre - The Three Musketeers Eliot, George - The Mill on the Floss Ellison, Ralph - Invisible Man Emerson, Ralph Waldo - Selected Essays Faulkner, William - As I Lay Dying Faulkner, William - The Sound and the Fury Fielding, Henry - Tom Jones Fitzgerald, F. Scott - The Great Gatsby Flaubert, Gustave - Madame Bovary Ford, Ford Madox - The Good Soldier Goethe, Johann Wolfgang von - Faust Golding, William - Lord of the Flies Hardy, Thomas - Tess of the d'Urbervilles Hawthorne, Nathaniel - The Scarlet Letter Heller, Joseph - Catch-22 Hemingway, Ernest - A Farewell to Arms Homer - The Iliad Homer - The Odyssey Hugo, Victor - The Hunchback of Notre Dame Hurston, Zora Neale - Their Eyes Were Watching God Huxley, Aldous - Brave New World Ibsen, Henrik - A Doll's House James, Henry - The Portrait of a Lady James, Henry - The Turn of the Screw Joyce, James - A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man Kafka, Franz - The Metamorphosis Kingston, Maxine Hong - The Woman Warrior Lee, Harper - To Kill a Mockingbird Lewis, Sinclair - Babbitt London, Jack - The Call of the Wild Mann, Thomas - The Magic Mountain Marquez, Gabriel García - One Hundred Years of Solitude Melville, Herman - Bartleby the Scrivener Melville, Herman - Moby Dick Miller, Arthur - The Crucible Morrison, Toni - Beloved O'Connor, Flannery - A Good Man is Hard to Find O'Neill, Eugene - Long Day's Journey into Night Orwell, George - Animal Farm Pasternak, Boris - Doctor Zhivago Plath, Sylvia - The Bell Jar Poe, Edgar Allan - Selected Tales Proust, Marcel - Swann's Way Pynchon, Thomas - The Crying of Lot 49 Remarque, Erich Maria - All Quiet on the Western Front Rostand, Edmond - Cyrano de Bergerac Roth, Henry - Call It Sleep Salinger, J.D. - The Catcher in the Rye Shakespeare, William - Hamlet Shakespeare, William - Macbeth Shakespeare, William - A Midsummer Night's Dream Shakespeare, William - Romeo and Juliet Shaw, George Bernard - Pygmalion Shelley, Mary - Frankenstein Silko, Leslie Marmon - Ceremony Solzhenitsyn, Alexander - One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich Sophocles - Antigone Sophocles - Oedipus Rex Steinbeck, John - The Grapes of Wrath Stevenson, Robert Louis - Treasure Island Stowe, Harriet Beecher - Uncle Tom's Cabin Swift, Jonathan - Gulliver's Travels Thackeray, William - Vanity Fair Thoreau, Henry David - Walden Tolstoy, Leo - War and Peace Turgenev, Ivan - Fathers and Sons Twain, Mark - The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Voltaire - Candide Vonnegut, Kurt Jr. - George Bergeron Walker, Alice - The Color Purple Wharton, Edith - The House of Mirth Welty, Eudora - Collected Stories Whitman, Walt - Leaves of Grass Wilde, Oscar - The Picture of Dorian Gray Williams, Tennessee - The Glass Menagerie Woolf, Virginia - To the Lighthouse Wright, Richard - Native Son Jenn posted at 5:44 PM | |
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I rarely blog something so personal, but I have to get this out in the universe -- I have to get this out of this apartment and away from there I can read it over and over again, torturing myself. Why is it that the one person I'm trying to get out of my head is the only words I can hear right now? Why is it that I can only think of myself when I should be happy for others? Why am I afraid to sleep -- because I know that I'm going to wake up alone, like every day, perhaps for the rest of my life. People scoff when I make such grand sweeping statements -- that a person of my age has plenty of time and life to live and cannot possibly contemplate living their life alone. But how long before we start to worry? 30? 35? 40? How many months and years between dates before we become the punchline of jokes -- the woman who lives alone with cats or fish or whatever the trendy pet of the month is? How long before my heart destroys me? "You sound bitter." Perhaps I am when it comes to KB and how everything ended. And I tried to defend myself and my feelings, but I left out the thing that makes me sad the most -- that I was so easily disposed of. Perhaps I read too many books, watch too many movies and television shows. There's a rumor I've heard that there is someone out there that will put himself after you, wanting to wait for you, love you, and want your happiness more than your own. I see it everywhere in my friends -- Chris and Krystyne, HT and Julie, Adam and Emily (though I have not seen, but only heard of), John and Julie...and on and on and on -- but I have yet to experience it. People say that there's someone out there for everyone, but what if that's not true? Or what if I made a wrong choice along the way and I'll never meet him now? "If you cry tonight, you'll spend the rest of your life crying." He was right there. I've tried to stop and there are times when I can, but then it just bubbles over and I find myself sobbing during a Julia Stiles movie. I keep allowing myself to feel things that I have no right to feel and then I wonder why I get hurt. Of course, this is probably why men are not attracted me to me -- pathetic mess that I am. Maybe I'm just lonely. I need girlfriends that I can go out to silly chick flicks with and go shoe shopping with. People to have cosmopolitans with and scope out the hotties in whatever bar we go to. Someone to tell me that men are scum and give the big hugs. The girls who bring over the cookie dough ice cream with two spoons. I miss having gal pals to just be with. San Francisco is a fresh start, I keep being told -- but then again, that's what I was told about LA. It's been three years and I don't have anyone I feel comfortable calling up and hanging out with and certainly no one with whom I can share my problems. I drove home tonight, ticking off the people that I could call and my list came up short. There was no one to tell. Of course, I'm moving in three months, so there's really no point in trying to make friend either. I'll just be leaving them. I keep breathing in and out, heavily, trying to hold back the next wave of tears, but so far, it's not working. It's strange how life can change in an instant. Perhaps it's gradual, but all of the sudden, you realize, everything is different. The world around you moves slowly like watching a car wreck -- you can see it happen and there's nothing you can do to stop it. The forces will collide and the outcome is certain. But the sick feeling in your stomach is still there. And it still hurts. Last year at this time, I was happy at my job at HPR and taking two history classes. Last month at this time, I was still reeling from my dentist visit and looking forward to St. Patrick's Day. Last week at this time, I was surrounded by middle schoolers on my way to DC, where I would have a hand in changing fate. Or perhaps, I was just a pawn in a much large game. Perhaps without me, the events would still occur and I would still be where I am. Every day we make choices and we must live with the outcome of those choices. Funny how a good choice today will be a bad one tomorrow and vice versa. They say that God works in mysterious ways, that we can't always know what the future holds, but He does. I hope that's true because my decision-making track record leaves a lot to be desired. Jenn posted at 4:10 AM |
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1. If you were granted 3 wishes, what would they be? Oh, that's such a tough one. Without thinking of the possible consequences of the wishes, I would wish to see my life on the road not taken at any point, I would want to hear what other people think about me and I would want my family and friends to be inifinity happy for all of their lives. 2. What one word would you use to describe yourself? Special 3. How many times a day do you check your email? I probably check my personal e-mail anywhere from 2-5 times a day. My work e-mail is always open and therefore I check it everytime the "new mail" icon pops up in my toolbar. Jenn posted at 12:41 AM | |
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"I've got two questions for you. One, where's the fife? Two, gimme the fife!" - Homer Simpson And this is why I love you! But since you said 3, no more or less, I'll go with something equally esoteric: "what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?" 6! Jenn posted at 12:20 AM | |
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From my VS Summer Casual catalogue:     
Jenn posted at 1:06 AM
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1. Do you dream in color or black and white? I dream in color. Sometimes I can remember my dreams in exact detail, even the ones that seem to go on and on. Sometimes I can only remember impressions, like who was there or what was going on. Most nights though, I don't get enough sleep to slip into stage 4 REM :( 2. If you had to chose between a one week unbelievably passionate affair or a lifetime of ho hum marriage, which would you pick? Well, at this point, I'd choose the passionate affair because I can always have the ho hum marriage later. 3. How much time do you spend writing daily? I try to write in my journal every night for about a half an hour. My fiction writing doesn't get the same treatment. Sometimes I write for hours one day and none the next. I've never been disciplined in my writing. It just flows from me when I have the urge. Jenn posted at 12:12 AM | |
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I got my federal tax refund check yesterday and I got paid today, so I made a BIG bank deposit after work. Of course, it's half gone with bills and all. But maybe I can get a new dress or something. We'll see. New York Minute -- I assume this supposed to be Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen's crossover film, but I'm not sure how they think they are going to cross over from those pre-teen straight-to-video to a Paris-Hilton-Ferris-Bueller type flick. Ugh, just seems like a bad idea all around. How they roped Eugene Levy into it I'll never know. I'm starting to get my apartment cleaned...I mean, really cleaned. I've always wanted to come to one of those picture perfect aparments. I'll never really have one of those apartments, but maybe I'll at least feel better about coming home. Jenn posted at 12:03 AM | |
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Chris Meyer in the local press Jenn posted at 8:30 PM | |
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over the rooftops a plane in the sky beat of a bass drum cars passing me by [...] row upon row of houses return an empty stare let the daydream for a little while longer hope I'll never wake when I'm thinking about you hope I'll never wake cos now I'm thinking about you "When I'm Thinking About You" by The Sundays Jenn posted at 10:36 PM | |
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I didn't end up going to work today due to a massive migraine. I thought that I would make it for the afternoon, but alas no. I'm sadly behind on my novel, despite the 2,778 words I wrote on the plane while Satan's minions from Calabassas were talking the night away. My progress, so far:
I should be at 37% finished though, so I'm a bit behind. Now that I've got my journals with me, I'm really feeling optimistc. Now, I'm off to make tuna to have with crackers, since I'm broke from buying too many shoes and I don't get paid until Thursday. Jenn posted at 10:23 PM | |
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Friday night/Saturday morning After only doing some of my packing during my lunch break, I needed to finish up after work. I also needed to get gas for my drive to LGB, so while I was I called Caryn to see what was going on Saturday night. She gave me the rundown of the possible attendees and I headed back to my house to finish packing. I left my house at 6:15, expecting a long trek to Long Beach. Imagine my surprise when I exited onto Lakewood Blvd at 6:45! I ended up going down to a shopping center near 2nd street and having a nice dinner at Acapulco before heading back up to the airport. I tried to self-check in, but it didn't work, so I had to wait in line. By the time I got to front of the line, there were only center seats in the emergency exit row. The counterperson studied my license before coming up with my age..."Twenty...three?" Yup, that's right, lady, I'm 23, 8 years older than the 15 year old requirement to sit in the emergency exit row. She said then said she'd try to find something else, disappearing with my e-ticket and driver's license. It's about 8:50 now and I'm starting to get a bit worried. I'd like there to be a little bit of time between getting through security and when the plane starts boarding. Long story shorter, she comes back and gets me the last aisle seat. Feeling better about it all, I go through security, dutifully taking my laptop out of my backpack. After going through with no hassles, I see a large group of young high schoolers being corralled by some haggard chaperones. As I walk toward my gate, I said, "Please, God, don't let them be on my plane." Well, God's punishing me for something, because there were more 14-year-olds at my gate, ready to board my plane. Yes, that's right, my plane was full of 80 14-year-olds from Calabassas High School on their way to visit our nation's capital. And I was stuck in the middle of them. Those kids didn't sleep a wink during our five hour flight, therefore I didn't sleep at all either. After getting home, my dad wanted to show me all the editing stuff he'd done with the youth musical and his new camera and the freshly painted basement. But after that, I took a nap. Saturday I got up about 3pm. I went up to the attic and rooted through some boxes, finding all of my journals from high school. I spent some time skimming through them which really gave me a lot to think about. I showered and got dressed and then called Rachel. I had lunch with my parents about 4 and Rachel picked me up about 5. She took me to Caribou Coffee (which I've included in the search for the perfect coffeehouse) and we dished about our lives, our friends from high school and all those other things that girls talk about when they get together. We went to Kohl's to do some shopping and got an already discounted purse for an even better price. We visited with my parents for a few minutes and then Rach had to go. My parents went for their daily walk and I spent the next hour reliving the "traumas" of my youth, mostly consisting of diary entries like:
and Yeah, good times, being 14 ;) Anyway, after that, I drove out to Caryn's where I was the first to arrive. Katie arrived shortly afterward and we talked for a while until the parade of unexpected arrivals began. Caryn was expecting Webb next, but he was actually the last one to show up. Chris and Krystyne came, followed by Tommy and Steph. Dave shocked us all by showing up and then Erin and Byron made their way over after running errands. After much trouble at Cingular (because of AT&T), Webb finally showed up. As Katie shrewdly observed, even though we are all way past high school, whenever we all get together as a group, it feels like we're back there again. I didn't really get a chance to talk to some people that I wanted to, but I'm glad Caryn hosted the get-together. I was one of the last people to leave, about 1:30am. Sunday After more journal reading, I finally went to bed about 3am, so I did not want to get up when my mom woke me at 8am to get ready for church. I wore my new dress and shoes and decided on my new "Italy" purse that I bought at Kohl's instead of the one I bought to match. We got there a few minutes late (my fault of course!), so we had to sit in the chairs along the aisle. I got to see a bunch of people that I hadn't see in a while. I got to talk to Ken and to Nancy, both of whom I missed at Christmas. I even saw Rob Parker, who I totally didn't recognized, though he recognized me. He waved and I was like, yay a hot guy is waving at me and saying hi. And then I recognized it was Rob...ahhh! Anyway, I called and woke Chris up (even though he said he'd be awake...I knew better!). He was going to get up and get ready and then call me to find out where I was at that point. My parents and I went to my grandparents house to visit since we didn't know what time the Easter lunch thing was happening at my aunt and uncles. Chris picked me up from there and we went to breakfast at Denny's. It was nice to sit and chat with him...a nice break from all the running around I had been doing. Then it was time to run errands, but when Chris and I got to Fair Oaks, it was closed -- the whole mall! My mom called to let me know that lunch was at 2 which is the time it was then. Chris took me home and ended up helping my dad with some computer stuff while I changed clothes and packed my suitcase. I spent about 45 minutes with the family at Easter lunch before it was time to go to the airport. It was crazy weekend, but I'm glad I came back. It seems a bit like a dream -- not that it was perfect or anything like that, but it was just so quick that it doesn't really feel real. Jenn posted at 2:21 AM |
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I have given up my search to find this coat in my size in California. I may go shopping on Saturday, but I'm not counting on it. I've got a new dress, purse and shoes for Sunday, so I guess having a new dress coat would be asking too much. I got most of my laundry done last night and most of it folded. I've got my Easter stuff in the suitcase, so after I blog, I've gotta get the rest pack and the bag in my car. Even though my flight isn't until 9:30, I'm going to leave about 5:30 or 6:00 because last time I cut it too close for my comfort. Friday night traffic down to Long Beach can be unpredictable and I'd rather spend my time curled up with my laptop and/or a good book at the airport than sitting in traffic praying that I get there in time. I'm such a creature of habit that when I do something out of the ordinary, it totally screws me up. Case-in-point -- I always put my parking slip in the small pocket of my purse. Today, however, I put it in my pants pocket. I spent 10 minutes looking for the stupid ticket when I was leaving for lunch today because it wasn't in my purse and I didn't remember it being in my pants pocket. Now, the big question...which of my new books should I take with me this weekend? Jenn posted at 3:05 PM | |
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Sign Up Here! Jenn posted at 11:50 PM | |
     
And two pairs of shoes that don't go with either dress I'm bringing home for Easter... Jenn posted at 2:25 AM | |
I'm so excited that GT will be beating the crap out of UConn for the national championship! Jenn posted at 4:52 PM | |
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Happy Birthday, Danielle! I hope you too have a wonderful birthday and I wish I could be around to share it with you. Have an Apple Martini for me ;) Jenn posted at 4:48 PM | |
I hope you have a fabulous day dispite the fact that you get an hour less this year :( Jenn posted at 4:42 PM | |
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Everybody has their day Where things just seem To go their way An angel's gonna Smile on me When it's meant to be 'Cause anything's possible No matter how incredible You never know who I might meet On this crowded street "I Can't Wait" by Hillary Duff Jenn posted at 4:28 PM | |
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Well, I fell asleep last night during The Simpsons and I woke up enough at some point through the night to take out my contacts (more on them in a minute) and was awakened by my two alarms that I had forgotten to turn off. I had some very strange dreams involving Chris and a cabin, but when I awakened at 9:30 this morning, I decided it was just time to get up. I have made my intent to register at State and I have registered for orientation on June 17th in Garden Grove. It starts at 4:15, so I guess I'll be taking more time off work to get there in time. Hopefully, Ed won't be too mad at me. I have a new e-mail address - though I don't think it works yet and I'm not sure how much I'll really be using it. The IT manual seems to indicate that I use pine to send and retrieve mail, but does that POP info, which I've put into my Netscape mail account. It supposedly takes about 4 hours to get setup, so we'll see. I'm starting to feel anxious about the whole process, mostly because now that I've taken these steps, I have to sit around and wait until next month before I can continue. It's frustrating, but I'm trying to work my way through it. I'm off to the shower and I want to continue this productive streak I've got going on. I'm thinking about going to a movie this afternoon before I return home to get ready for the ballet. I'm still trying to figure out where the stage door is and working up my courage to wait out there if in fact I do find it. Jenn posted at 3:16 PM | |
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I got paid today and I've been busy spending that money already! I've got my plane ticket and hotel for Advising in San Fran next month and I've got my plane ticket for Anna's senior recital. Once I come home at Easter and those two trips, I should have earned a free roundtrip ticket on JetBlue! Whoohoo! Now, how to use it? Today was a kind of crazy day, but not in the freaked out sense. I had a lot of work to do, but none of it pressing, which is nice because I don't feel so uptight about my spreads and binders. I just watch a great episode of The West Wing. I'm actually just sitting here, smiling. I should be gearing up for April Fools, but for right now, I think I'll contemplate the fact that I forgot to do laundry tonight, so I'm at a loss of what to wear tomorrow. I should probably eat dinner too. Jenn posted at 12:57 AM | |