June 26, 2003 I wish I could have been there, but I'll be there tonight -- do it again, David!! Jenn posted at 4:27 PM |

I remember when this happened and I'm glad that justice was done. Jenn posted at 4:15 PM |

I was watching my Sex and the City DVDs tonight and Carrie mentioned SSB -- Secret Single Behavior. I never would have thought of a clever nickname for it, but I definitely have it as well. For instance I just spent most of the evening in just my work skirt and bra, vegging out on the couch and eating Papa John's (not on the diet menu...eek!). Definitely not "in front of the boys" behavior...but since there aren't any boys...I ain't worried :) Jenn posted at 3:19 AM |

June 23, 2003 participation positives: a better way to start Monday graduating from college going to yoga without D meeting Christine Mom's card and gift being more important at my job lounging all weekend having HBO watching Sex and the City my parents in town KB's parents' wonderful graduation presents having co-workers turn into friends yoga again tonight new shirt paying all the bills, including my cc and still have mucho dinero in el banco! my boogie board confirmed guests in July Friday invitation hanging my new tassle from my rear view mirror M1's compliment on Friday finishing a new book over the weekend loving The Sisterhood of Traveling Pants the love of my friends and family Jenn posted at 4:43 PM |

June 21, 2003 photographic memory I've been trying to figure out what to do with this since it arrived. It's fun to look at it and remincise about the days gone by. Confirmation. MYF Halloween party. Singing a duet in The Basics of Life. MYF Dinner Dance. Highroad Music Camp. Prom night. Beach retreat. ASP. Confirmation retreat. MYF Fall Retreat. My sweet 16 party. Christmas at the White House. Play rehearsals. Concert in Richmond. New England tour. Labor Day retreat. Unremarkable, but fun times just spent hanging out in someone's house. I think as teens we ignore the bonding and feelings that go along with hanging out at someone's house. "What did you do?" "Nothing, we just hung out." And it was true. But you shared in-jokes and said silly things that would later come back to haunt you, or at least make you laugh. You further cemented your friendship with those people. You sat on laps and gave hugs like there was nothing to it in the world. You flirted good-naturedly and lusted after some of you "friends." Secrets were told that you'd never tell anyone else. I miss that now that I'm older and not much wiser, living in a place with few friends and even less time that could be devoted to hanging out. Jenn posted at 10:55 PM |

But its hard to see the sky through the clouds when its raining... I know somewhere it's blue "Waiting" by Chantal Kreviazuk Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year, the that day sun shines the longest and the closest to us -- and it's cloudy and raining. I am desperately looking at weather.com to find some sun at the beach anywhere in SoCal because I desperately want to lay on the sand and soak up the rays to rejuvenate myself. I went to yoga this morning and D didn't show. It's my first time all alone at yoga and it was actually fabulous. I met a wonderful woman named Christine during our partner exercizes and we shared our first solsitice hug as well. The doorbell just rang while I was writing this and a man with a small basket of flowers was there. Turns out the flowers are from my dear XPFC and real-life friend, Sharon, to congratulate me on my graduation. Perhaps I don't the sun to rejuvenate my spirits...just the love of friends. Jenn posted at 3:17 PM |

June 20, 2003 I am a huge chicken. That is all. Jenn posted at 10:27 PM |

introspective Jenn comes out to play... I was thinking about this week's Theme Thursday this afternoon after work, when my doorbell rang. It was the UPS guy delivering a rather large package. It turned out to be my old boogie board from my parents and an added surprise. I had hypothetically asked my parents what it would take to ship my old board out here because I thought it might be useful when the boys come out. They had made fun of me and basically told me to just go out and buy a new board which I was planning on doing this weekend. I guess I don't have to now. Chris made that for me almost 4 years ago. I went over to his house two days before I was supposed to leave for Texas. He hadn't gotten me a graduation gift and made me a collage of photos of himself so I "wouldn't forget him." Well, neither one of us could have predicted what would ensue between us in the following four years, bringing us closer together and yet further apart. There was a time in my life where I would have scoffed at his assumption that I would forget him because he was such an important part of my life. I'm not sure when it happened because I wasn't really aware of it until I looked at that poster tonight, but I let go. I no longer secretly wish I was his girlfriend or wish that he would ever look at me the way he used to look at Erin. I just see a goofy guy who I've known since elementary school -- someone who has seen me at my very worst and at my best...loves me regardless...just like Adam and Chris and KB and Olen and all the other guys that I lovingly call "my boys." Seems silly that I would only come to this realization now -- that at 22, I would finally know that my crush from when I was 14 was finally over... but I don't know... it was a nice feeling nonetheless. See, this is what happens when I'm not stressing about exams and papers... introspective Jenn comes out to play. Be afraid... be very afraid! Jenn posted at 1:11 AM |

June 19, 2003 And this was the best part of today The card signed by the whole office...designed by K using Matthew Perry :) Jenn posted at 4:27 AM |

AA in Liberal Arts! My parents and I before the ceremony - Unfortunately, the chaos didn't allow an after shot ;) There's me walking in during the processional And this is one happy girl that has just received her diploma! Graduation was wonderful even though I had a migraine the whole time. I cried. It was just so intensely personal for me. Jenn posted at 2:41 AM

June 17, 2003 From the washingtonpost.com: SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Life for you is an adventure. Home complications and hassles make you want to escape to the beach and sail away. Your creative endeavor gets you out of the loop. From MSN: You are feeling confident and more comfortable in your own skin than you have in a long, long time, Jenn. All we can say is it's about time! You are so accomplished; why is it you're the last one to acknowledge it? Ah well, all that matters is that you finally have. Try to lift your head up from your desk long enough to relax and socialize a bit with friends and loved ones. You have been so focused on work that it is likely your relationships have suffered a bit. Use today to spend quality time with those you care about. Sounds like the perfect day to graduate from college! T minus 8 hours until the ceremony! Jenn posted at 1:01 PM |

June 12, 2003 I used to carry the weight of the world And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly Oh and there's always something Or somebody right behind Well we're not meant to be everything We're just a piece So spread your wings Oh I don't know why I was so afraid all the time I used to carry the weight of the world And now all I wanna do is spread my wings and fly... "Weight of the World" by Chantal Kreviazuk I'm absolutely ecstatic right now! I have now finished my classes and my finals. There are no more papers to write, no more presentations to give, no more scantrons to buy -- it's all over! There's a sense of relief and pride that I'm not sure I can explain coursing through my body right now. Last night, I went to dinner with KB to celebrate and I couldn't get the smile off my face. There are so many things I want to blog, but right now, there are too many thoughts flying through my head to process. Jenn posted at 11:29 AM |

June 9, 2003 participation positives: a better way to start Monday cleaning the apartment going to yoga with D talking to Olen about the trip hearing about Chris M being home and at church my raise is effective lunch with D and M at Whole Foods doing laundry and having enough quarters to do all the loads I needed to fabulous time in Santa Barbara making my graduation flyers working with R at work getting to come in an hour later at work feeling prepared for my mid-term the love of my friends and family Jenn posted at 9:05 PM |

June 7, 2003 No matter what comes my way I'm gonna live for today This is my independence day "Independence Day" by Melanie C Jenn posted at 9:25 PM |

I had just finished watching an episode of Felicity where she declares financial independence from her parents and then I went to change a load of laundry. I was contemplating my own strike for independence when I moved out here and how good it feels, when my quarter holder fell out of my laundry basket. The top popped off and my quarters (almost $10 worth) went flying all over the ground and in the dirt. I laughed to myself...that's real independence right there! Jenn posted at 8:26 PM |

I would like to say congratulations Amanda and Dan, who will be getting married in just a few hours! I know you've both had a lot of stress and craziness in planning this wedding, but hopefully today will be everything you've dreamed about your whole lives. I wish you much love and happiness throughout your lives together! Jenn posted at 11:37 AM |

Plane Hits LA Apartment Building, 10 Hurt Damn, this is right by my work! I didn't hear or see a thing! Jenn posted at 11:32 AM |

June 6, 2003 I just woke up from falling asleep on the couch and I feel great! Even though I still have finals coming up and one paper left, I just have a fabulously free feeling about me tonight. I gotta call S1 tonight about the company potluck since the shop is having a barbecue tomorrow. Today was an absolute blast at work...my mom even asked if we actually did any work while we were having so much fun. ::grins:: I can't wait to post the pictures tomorrow! Jenn posted at 12:15 AM |

June 4, 2003 Weigh In: What will be different? We've all been on the diet merry-go-round. When you reach goal this time, what will you do differently not to be here again? Well, for one thing, I am changing my eating habits. Now that I'm working 40 hours a week, I am sedentary most of the day and have, in the past, been prone to snacking. I refuse to snack now. If I must have food before or after lunch, I have yogurt. Yogurt is my diet staple. I buy the $0.59 Kroger kind and I buy at least 10 a week. It fills me up enough to quell the hunger pains without actually spoiling my appetite for actual meals. I've been straying from my usual diet of delivery pizza and milkshakes to enjoy Jamba Juice and caeser salad. Not only is it helping my weight, but it really helps me feel good about myself on the days (like the past few) when I simply haven't had the time to exercise. I'm also exercising more. I'm going to yoga once a week and working out with my Ballet video every other day as well as doing my situps and push ups. I try to use the stairs instead of elevators and walk instead of drive. Keeping myself active improves my mood and my health. But once I reach my goal weight and body shape, the key, for me, is not to stop exercising and eating right. This time it's for real. I'm starting on a trek that I hope will last me for the rest of my life. Good foods and an active lifestyle are the things I want to keep in my life from here on out. Jenn posted at 4:49 PM |

Well, yesterday, I purchased my cap and gown for graduation with an added bonus -- an HONORS stoll because I'm graduating WITH HONORS! After nearly failing out of two colleges back East, I'm surprised and proud that I will be graduating from SMC in two weeks' time with honors! I had a migraine yesterday, so I missed work, but I was able to finish my paper for my Tuesday night class. Now I've just got to finish my extra credit and short comment card for my Wednesday night class and I'm done. Who would have thought that finishing the work for the last class would actually be more stressful than studying for my finals? Man, oh, man...I'll be glad when this is all finally over! Jenn posted at 10:48 AM |

June 3, 2003 I picked up the New York City Ballet Workout on DVD on Saturday. I haven't had the drive, energy or time to try it out, but I'm very proud of myself. Between this and yoga and eating better (no more pizza, burgers and milkshakes for Jenn!), I'm really feeling more positive about losing weight, gaining muscle tone and generally improving my body and my outlook on my body. Jenn posted at 12:54 AM |

June 2, 2003 I'm on a 15 minute break from my reading/studying/paper writing, so I thought I'd post a bit before I have to get back to work. I'm so exhausted right now that I can barely understand what I'm reading...I can't wait to see what kind of paper I can turn out. Yesterday I kidnapped KB and drove to Santa Barbara to celebrate his birthday. It was fabulously fun! We walked around the waterfront, enjoyed the artisans, visited the pier and then walked down to State Street. I did some window shopping and we saw Spellbound. It's a wonderfully, heart-wrenching, laugh out loud documentary about the National Spelling Bee. Don't believe me? Watch it and then tell me you weren't moved. We shopped some more and had dinner at a great little Italian cafe on the corner. From there we walked back to the car and made our way up to UCSB. While the sun shone brightly in downtown Santa Barbara, the soup had rolled in when we got to UCSB, so it didn't have the desired beauty and grandeur. Sometime on Thursday, once the madness has died down, I post my photos on my photo blog. On the way home, I had a crying jag that I was not expecting. I talked to my parents and my mom told me that she had gotten a hug from Chris M. He was home from the war, in the flesh and hugging her. Then she proceeded to tell me that he returned to church for the final handbell concert as did Chris W and Erin. I simply cannot remember when the Four Musketeers were last in the same room together and even though I had had the time of my life, I cried that I missed the trivial event of the final handbell concert. Perhaps it's best that I wasn't there though because who knows what may befall us if we ever are all reunited -- surely one of the signs of the apocalypse! Jenn posted at 11:52 PM |